keeping sub interested after milking

September 25, 2020 6:12 PM | Mistress Chyna Vixxen replied:

it's so different for each individual sub, sometimes they
retreat out of shame or out fear of disappointing their
mistress. Milking them is done in so many brilliant ways,
mentally, physically and my personal favorite financially.

training a sissy to deep throat

September 8, 2020 3:39 PM | Christine replied:


you wrote:

>The search continues!

Good luck with your search. It might help if you mentioned your
location, you never know your luck.

Also, try getting some practice in using a dildo for deep
throating and a dildo gag for pleasing a Mistress. Find
something suitable to penetrate for practice like a melon

Once your neck and mouth muscles are thoroughly trained you
might find advertising those skills here will interest a
Dominant. It can't hurt to practice anyway.

sincerely, Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software. Now on your phone and mobile

training a sissy to deep throat

September 8, 2020 12:11 AM | Angel replied:

I love to read stories of all these fortunate "sissys" that have
an understanding woman who encourage their boys to be (or play
the part for a period).

I have been dressing for so many years and I have
not been able to find a woman who truly accepts me for ME!

The search continues!

I'm very open and want to explore more of my feminine side. I am
fairly passable.

keeping sub interested after milking

April 30, 2020 4:38 PM | Al Mendoza replied:

If she's too bored or in a bad mood, after being face slapped,
at least 3 times back and forth, I must lick her feet, toes,
even when sweaty, before washing them, then masturbate into her
flipflop, havaiana's brand.

Then I must lick the inner sole to clean off my cum, after which
I get an otk flipflop spanking of 6 dozen.

She gives me another pair of face slaps back and forth and I'll
have to stand in the corner with her panties on my head smelling
her ass hole scent, for several minutes, twenty on average,
before I apologize and regain shy my humble composure and suck
her clit.

keeping sub interested after milking

January 6, 2020 3:57 PM | Ellen replied:

I find that the best way to keep my boy eager for sex is to keep
him locked up and not allow him any sexual release during the

I let him have a squirt in the bath on Saturdays (his day off)
after I've urinated on him a few times.

Thanks to Christine for suggesting this in her videos and
software. Life has been such fun since I discovered I could do
this to him!

Weekdays, even after a hard day at work, he is always eager to
please me in the evenings, but I dismiss his pleading for
release after I've used his mouth, nose and face for my

As I think Christine says in her manual, leave them wanting

keeping sub interested after milking

November 21, 2019 3:40 PM | David replied:

Hello Judy,

Have you considered making him wear something that maintains his
knowledge of your control over him. Anything on his genitals
would do that. It doesn't even have to be something
sophisticated like a chastity belt.

So, for example, you could insist he wears a spiky penis corset

whenever he is at home. Maybe a simple cock ring or strap would
keep him thinking sexy thoughts.

Or perhaps tell him to wear a butt plug when he's in a
particular place where you may not be forefront of his mind. At
work perhaps?

Then when he is in your presence make him report on his
obedience to your instructions and punish any failures he may
own up to.


Download "Games People Play" by David at

keeping sub interested after milking

November 18, 2019 10:29 AM | Judy replied:

He just loses interest very fast until I get him
there again.

I'm considering no orgasms at all and only allow
milking maybe once a month. And even that keep it
with anal only.

keeping sub interested after milking

November 13, 2019 1:10 PM | Morgan replied:

As a man, I must ask, when you say Milking, are you actually
allowing him to CUM, or are you Edging the Cum out, that is a
huge difference.

DO not allow him to CUM if you want to keep him interested. Edge
the Cum out and make him eat it.

keeping sub interested after milking

November 8, 2019 4:14 PM | Christine replied:

Hello Judy,

I probably need to know more to make suggestions that
specifically apply to you and your sub.

For example:- What do you mean by "retreats"? Do you mean he
becomes less submissive? Less obedient?

If that is the case then you may find that some of the ideas
suggested to Helen for her "surly" subby will work for you. See
the thread:-

letting my slave wank more?

Or do you mean he becomes less interested in sexual activity? Or
less interested in bdsm game play?

Also, what methods of milking are you using on him?

Perhaps those are not dominant in a specific way that he

Perhaps he would be a happier sub if his "spurts" were more
painful, spurting only during a caning for example"

What fetishes does he have? Once we know what makes a man tick,
what pushed his buttons it's a lot easier to think of ways to
manipulate him.


See Christine humilate David

humbling question

November 8, 2019 3:08 PM | Christine replied:

Hello Miss Cindy,

you wrote:

>I get one ball through, it sometimes slips back so that when I
>start to tighten the humbler I find I've not got both trapped,
>and have to start over.The mood to play has then diminished

Yes, I totally understand the problem. Try putting 2" packing
tape around the top of his ball sack, or perhaps the lace from
one of his trainers, so that his balls are in a neat little
package that is much easier to handle while you manipulate them
into the humbler.

I find packing tape around the top of his ball sack is better to
retain more flesh and avoid some of it getting pinched. Adhesive
tape can avoid the over-tightening that can happen with laces.
You don't want to cut off the blood supply.

My lazy way to solve the fitting problem and consequent mood
loss is to order my sub hubby to put on the humbler in another
room and then report to me in that lovely slightly bent over
position that it forces him into.

It's quite easy for a male to fit a humbler to himself in front
of his own body, just a little loosely, so that he can then move
the humbler through his legs to the rear position before
reporting to you for any further tightening that you might

Equally, you may find it easier to fit to him yourself in that
position and move it between his legs yourself. That is also
quite a dominant thing to do.

I often have David put it on in front of me, and then turn
around so that his back is towards me. I then have the fun of
roughly pulling the humbler back between his legs myself and
forcing him to bend over before ordering him to kneel on the

Men also make quite a good footrest. when restrained by a
humbler, or if that is not comfy just order him to kneel in a
corner while you relax watching TV or reading a book.

I love spending an evening watching a movie while David is stood
facing the wall waiting and able to serve me at a click of my
fingers to top up my glass of wine. A naked male slightly bent
over in a servile position with his genitals pulled back and
down turning him into a virtual eunuch makes an amusing
emasculated servant.

Sometimes I even treat him to seeing me dressed in the sexy
lingerie I know he loves as I recline on the sofa in my negligee
and stockings. Then I let him stand with his back to the wall
and in that slightly bent over position he can lust over what he
can't have.

sincerely, Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software. Now on your phone and mobile
devices. Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

teaching hubby to take cock?

November 7, 2019 4:28 PM | Judy replied:

My male sub always retreats for few days after i milk him.....

keeping sub interested after milking

Chastity Belt Advice

August 4, 2019 6:52 PM | Christine replied:

Hello toy boy,

I've just noticed that it's going on a year since you asked for
a chastity device recommendation.

Because I don't actually use chastity devices in the way you
want to, I didn't give you a personal recommendation.

The devices I use are designed to make his genitals suffer for
my amusement.

For chastity enforcement, (or more precisely masturbation
control) I use the stick and carrot approach.

I thought that as we have so many chastity fans on the list,
someone would have replied to you by now. But, as nobody else
has suggested a device for you and your partner I'd suggest you
take a look at the other posts in:-

where various devices come with positive reviews from DOMestic

The most recent reviews are entitled "Dickcage", "Chastity
Heaven cages" and "CB6000" for example. But there are lots more
in that section of the blog.


The Fem Dom Training Software. Now on your phone and mobile
devices. Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

forniphilia, race play and sexual objectification of human furniture

March 15, 2019 10:24 PM | ramose replied:

Nice cane in the picture. What do you think about this travel crop at ?

want hubby to serve my bull

October 15, 2018 12:29 AM | David replied:

Hello kymy,

You wrote:

>I sometimes won't let him be there as I serve my bull[s].

As you are the dominant in the relationship with your hubby,
then it's up to you whether you allow him to be present and
enjoy being cuckolded first hand.

Some submissives enjoy the idea that their Mistress is being
dominated by, or is serving, a dominant 'bull'.

I can enjoy that illusion, if that role-play is giving my
Mistress pleasure. But I like to know, in my heart, that in
reality my Mistress is really in control of the 'game'.

>he bitches and begs for all the details.

Which might suggest that your hubby really wants to enjoy being
cuckolded by you.

>I have made him clean me in front of my lovers.

That sounds like the kind of thing I'd love. For me, one of the
most important things is that I'm serving my Mistress, not her

If I'm made to lick up what came from his cock, then it's my
Mistress who is making me do it, not her "bull". So as long as
it's my Mistress instructing me to do the cleaning then it's
heaven for me.

I want to know that my Mistress is happy with the health and
safety of the 'bull'. And if she is happy for the 'bull' to have
made a mess, then I will enjoy being 'forced' to clean up.

>I want to take it further and totally humiliate him and make
>him fluff and clean their cocks for me.

The keywords there are "for me" - that's the bit that turns me
on. That it's for you. My Mistress is making me do this stuff
for her. She's enjoying it.

Once I know that she's getting off on it, then I can enjoy the
indignity of getting him ready for her.

>he talks a good game, but I think he'll panic when it all
>happens! lol!

I can't know the mind of your hubby, so for the purpose of this
discussion I'll just have to assume he's like me.

As long as he knows he can trust you to retain control, and not
hand over dominance to anyone else, and he has plenty of warning
that it's going to happen, he'll not be likely to panic.

Whenever I've been in a multi dominant situation, the thing I
fear most is that my Mistress will stop protecting me from other
folk who might try to take control.

Assuming that you do not want him to panic, then just make sure
he knows you are in control, and that your "bull" is only
allowed to use your hubby as long as you are enjoying it. Then
hubby will know he is being kept safe.

>I've been secretly fucking for about three months.

That's the bit that would make me worry that my Mistress might
no longer be interested in me, or that she might no longer care
more about me than her lover.

If my Mistress knows that I enjoy being a cuckold and that I
enjoy my suffering as I hear her telling me all the salacious
details of her encounters with her lovers, why would she keep it
a secret for three months?

Trust is in danger if this secret has been between us for three
months, unless we've already agreed that secret lovers is a
'game' she/we might enjoy.

>he's up for making him serve.

That's great, that should mean 3 willing participants, and lots
of fun for all.

>not only will I shock him with my latest lover.

I can't speak for your hubby, but that kind of shock is not a
turn on for me.

Knowing my Mistress has a lover, and that she is tormenting me
with it is sexy. Telling me she is going out on dates regularly
for 3 months would be a turn on, because she is telling me she
has a lover, and is 'sharing' that 'secrecy' with me for our
mutual pleasure.

That would be a scary and worrying turn on, but hopefully one
that would end well when the lover was revealed.

But the idea that my Mistress has a totally secret lover is just
too scary for me.

>but make him suck as well.

If my Mistress orders me to suck something (safe) because it
gives her pleasure, that's more than good enough for me. The
illusion of being 'forced' to suck cock is a turn on for many
submissives. So I'm going to love it as much as she does. But
not if it came as a complete shock.


Download "Games People Play" by David at

teaching hubby to take cock?

October 11, 2018 7:43 PM | kymy replied:

want hubby to serve my bull

cane me please Mistress Audrey

October 8, 2018 5:44 PM | David replied:

Hello Ms Helen and Ms Christine,

Ms Helen, you wrote that you'd like:

>me (and my slaveboy) to get that feeling of power over a
>longer period. I'm sure he'd like that as much as I would.

It's true that submissives like me, and presumably your slaveboy
love to feel totally in the power of our dominant.

Once my Mistress has made me admit that she has the right to use
corporal punishment to discipline me and humiliate me, then
anything else she obliges me to do or to suffer is done on the
basis that I have to obey or else more punishment might result.

This enables me to feel in her power whenever she asks anything
of me, but especially and even more so if what she asks is
humiliating like corner time, or onerous like making me wear
spikes on my penis. Often the latter follows the former in our

I've no doubt that Christine's suggestion of "Corner Time" will
make your slaveboy feel more under control, and I guess you will
also get a power surge from observing your slave obeying.

I've written a few fantasies about being sent to the corner
which still need quite a bit of editing, so I'll try and post
them later for your amusement.

In the meantime, my bedtime idea below, may do more for your
slaveboy than it will do for you. Unless you love humiliating
your slaveboy as much as Christine seems to like humbling me.

Christine wrote:

>I just like to humiliate you

One of the things that makes me feel truly in your power is
hearing you say things like that when humiliating me. And
reading that you write things like that on DOMestic, especially
if I'm wearing either the blunt or sharp spikes at the time.

(instructions for making a home-made sharp spiky penis corset
are on the DOMestic web site)

Christine wrote:

>"Half an hour in the corner," I might order as I get into bed.
>I find this a useful way of making sure he is thinking of me
>as his boss long after I've dozed off.

Yes corner time does that for me.

As I'm stood in the corner of your bedroom under the TV, with my
trousers and pants around my ankles as you go through your
nightly ablutions I wonder why this amuses you so much. Even
though you've told me so often that you like to humiliate me, I
still wonder why?

As you hand me your knickers as you undress and tell me, "a
little treat for you wanker, sniff those before you put them in
the laundry basket, and think about what a real man like ____
would be doing" I realise you are just saying thinks like that
about men you've known to humiliate me more.

It may be I'll get off lightly with no further taunting, and
you'll be in bed and dozing off soon. Then after I think my half
hour is probably up and I suspect you are asleep I'll leave the
room quietly and try not to disturb you.

But if instead you say as you head to bed, "Spiky Time - the
sharp ones tonight" I realise that you made me sniff those
knickers just to ensure that I'd be erect and feel the spikes
digging in to my penis even more.

So, I'll get the cruel device out of the bedside table and start
to fumble to get it in place without too much pain. Then I'll
hear you say "You can go now", and I realise my fumbling is
irritating you, so I leave the room quickly to suffer the
process elsewhere.

Once the penis corset is in place I remember you saying "You can
go now", and how much that line always amuses you and that makes
me think of you as boss when you are asleep and the spiked penis
corset is digging in as remember your 'real men' and I think of
you enjoying yourself with '______', the one you mentioned.

I know the rules are that the penis corset stays on until I come
to bed, and that I must not come to bed unless I'm ready to
sleep without disturbing you. So until I'm allowed to remove the
spiked penis corset I'm going to be under your power over a much
longer period than it took for the brief caning you gave me
earlier in the day.

Whenever I have to wear the spikes it's humiliating, but even
more so when you hand me your knickers and cruelly say things
like "sniff those when the spikes dig in and think about what it
would be like to be a real man".

I know I'm not going to be able to resist your instruction to
inhale your intimate scents during the rest of the evening and
on into the early hours of the morning, and the spikes will dig
in even more.

I feel in your power then Christine, even though I know that
after you are asleep you will not get much benefit of feeling
powerful, but I imagine it amused you for a short period before
and after bedtime.

So, Ms. Helen that might work for you and your slaveboy?

David at

Download "Prickteasing" by David at

cane me please Mistress Audrey

October 3, 2018 12:59 PM | Christine replied:

Hi Helen,

There is one thing that makes me feel almost as powerful as
caning David , and that is Corner Time.

The first time I do it in any room, I tell him where to stand in
the room. When I'm in the living room at home the standard
position is facing the wall by the radiator, it's not actually a
corner, but it is a location that means I can see him at a

Typically I will just issue the instruction "Corner Time" and
David will have to go to his standard position in the room.

Then to ensure his total humiliation and heighten my feeling of
power I'll order "trousers and pants around your ankles". I like
to give the instruction every time rather than make it a
standing order, because I feel an "uplift" when saying it.

On most quiet days he'll spend most of the morning in the corner
while I read the papers, do my crossword, or play games on my

Corner Time has the advantage of lasting as long as I want it
to, and the visible presence of the humiliated male in the room
until he is released from his corner means that I only have to
glance up from whatever I'm doing to feel the power surge you
refer to all over again.

David gets at least 15 minutes of corner time almost every day,
and he may get several doses if they are short ones because we
are busy.

An hour with him stood in the corner makes me feel he is mine to
do with as I wish. It's my favourite way to impose and maintain

The first time I did it to him he thought I was upset with him
because he had done something wrong, and I loved the look on his
face when I said, "No, not at all. I just like to humiliate

"Half an hour in the corner," I might order as I get into bed.
I find this a useful way of making sure he is thinking of me as
his boss long after I've dozed off.

sincerely, Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software. Now on your phone and mobile
devices. Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

cane me please Mistress Audrey

October 2, 2018 4:44 PM | Helen Ward replied:

It's interesting that you mention gerald wanting to experience
Audrey's power.

I used to feel powerful when I kept my subby chaste and denied
him permission to spurt, but since I let him spurt most days now
for health, I'm missing that feeling of power.

He still wears his chastity belt. especially when he is not with
me and I do now discipline him daily by making him pay for his
spurts as I think Christine suggested when he was being a bit

While I'm applying discipline, or even the toilet treatment you
recommended Christine, I of course get a power surge. But that
is of limited duration.

What techniques would you suggest for me (and my slaveboy) to
get that feeling of power over a longer period.

I'm sure he'd like that as much as I would. I'd guess gerald and
Audrey might like it too?

Thanks again.

cane me please Mistress Audrey

September 26, 2018 12:40 PM | David replied:

Hello Ms Audrey,

You wrote:

>(and David?)

Ms Audrey thanks for asking for my input. I'll try to be
helpful to you.

You also wrote:

>I found myself questioning his reasoning in going through
>with this, as it wasn't going to lead to getting me into bed
>with him, which was in the past, I thought, his motivation

Gerald mentions your "power" at least three times in his post,
and you are right that ostensibly "getting you into bed" is used
by some submissives as the reason for submission to "female

This makes the power sexual power. Whereas I suspect you want to
move beyond that to some other reason for your power.

Gerald also wrote:

>Some other motivation for my being caned, or for your taking
>control, might be helpful to you. So if you have any reasons you
>would prefer to ascribe to your control and my punishment that
>would be good for me

What is clear is that he wants to feel he is submitting to your
power, and if sex is not to be the source of that power he is
also happy for it to be founded on something else.

At the moment he is not asking you to express the basis upon
which your power is being wielded, but I'd say it is only a
matter of time until he wants you to say why he has to submit to
you. I think he wants to accept any rational answer to that, as
long as it sounds like your answer.

Gerald's position in his recent post is "anything you say goes",
and he has previously expressed fantasies about you and "real

So I think your answer could be as simple as "If you love me you
will do as I say" and "I like caning you, and you are not a real
man so you'll just have to take your punishment like a wimp."

But I think he is also asking you to take the lead and lay down
guidelines for him in many areas of your lives.

I think he is asking you to declare how much regular discipline
he should be required to receive, why he might be additionally
punished, what for, when, and for you to go further and lay down
the law on what he can say, do and feel in your intimate

Ms Audrey, I think you can use this to create a non-sexual basis
for your dominance in whatever way you want, just as long as it
is seen to be what you want..

David at

Download "Games People Play" by David at

cane me please Mistress Audrey

September 21, 2018 5:42 PM | Gerald replied:

My darling Audrey,

Thank you for caning me last month, it was wonderful to feel
your attention in that way again. I do not have the words to
adequately express my gratitude.

Ms. Susan thinks you would be happier if there was some form of
sexual reward involved for me. I can assure you that I do not
need that, but if it would make you happy that's fine.

Ms Christine thinks daily discipline from a "disciplinary wife"
is best for chaps like me. And while that would be lovely, I can
assure you that I do not think it fair on you to expect anything
like that.

I'm happy with whatever frequency makes you feel happy and

I am saddened that you felt pity for me when I was enjoying
profound fulfillment as a result of your gift to me Although if
you did find anything about my pathetic supine submission so
pitiful that you might want to enjoy it or mock it, that would
be fine too. Whatever works for you will be pleasing to me.

I should perhaps explain that my arousal during the caning is
not because caning is a sexual act for me. Being punished by you
is an expression of female power over me. Female power being
brought to bear upon me has always excited me. I used to enjoy
that power being expressed in the form of teasing and denial
when you enjoyed my sexual attentions in that way.

You should not feel any guilt, that this is no longer our way
of conducting ourselves, as it is not your responsibility
to provide me with the sexual pleasure you may feel I want.

Ms Christine says that she feels appreciation is evident if
david's erection is present at the end of his caning. I'm in
slight disagreement. Part of the pleasure is that it is supposed
to be painful, and an expression of power. So for that reason
I'd be emotionally fulfilled if you caned me until my erect
penis no longer offended, if that was truly your wish.

My erection starts to become evident at the moment of hearing
your instruction to prepare for a caning. It is evidence that
being under female control is profoundly fulfilling to me.
Except by being aroused, I am unable to express any pleasure
during the caning. I don't utter any words of appreciation for
any pain I may feel as it would feel more appropriate for me to
be a victim of female power and beg for it to stop.

I was also silent during the caning because I did not want to
say anything that would in any way distress you. I'd be happy to
beg and plead with you to stop. Or obey an instruction to thank
you for caning me, and ask for another, or respond in any way
you would find appropriate or acceptable. If you ordered me to
say I loved it, then I would do so, and I would love the fact
that you ordered it.

Obviously I'd love to be invited into your bed to give you
pleasure, but I think I know now that you do not wish me to
express that kind of desire. It would be my pleasure to express
that as a desire if you wished me to do so. Equally I'd be happy
to be caned for expressing such a desire if you would enjoy

I can see that it is hard for you to understand why I find being
caned fulfilling, and it must be confusing that I still enjoy it
without it being part of sexual interaction between us.

It is not a sexual act, it is an expression of female power.
That power does provide me with intense arousal every time I
experience it, and it continues to arouse me as I remember your
control in the past and as I feel the effects of your cane
during several hours after the event.

It is not only the physical sensation that I find fulfilling. It
is the feeling of your power being exerted over me that is
fulfilling. The cane is just a very convenient way of expressing
how much power you have over me. Which is why, if I were to beg
for you to stop, I'd feel your power over me if you did not
immediately cease my punishment, but instead added extra strokes
for protesting.

The memory of your control and the expression of your power just
by virtue of the instruction to get into position lasts way
beyond the physical sensation.

Some other motivation for my being caned, or for your taking
control, might be helpful to you. So if you have any reasons you
would prefer to ascribe to your control and my punishment that
would be good for me. Or if you have anything you think I should
be punished for, that would be ok with me. I only want to make
it as acceptable to you as I can.

I now realise I should not have addressed you as Mistress when I
asked you to consider caning me. I did not have the right to ask
you to be my Mistress and I should not have signed myself as
your slave.

I'm also indebted to Christine and david for providing this
forum and allowing us to benefit from the advice offered by
members, while at the same time allowing a method of
communication between us.

This is such a complex and emotional issue for both of us that
I'm in agreement with you that discussing it here is probably
the best way to arrive at a mutual understanding without either
of us getting upset.

Paraphrasing only slightly what I said in my first post here.
Darling Audrey, I will always love you and would be more
grateful than I can express in words if you would cane me once
in a while. Only when and if the mood strikes you, and for
whatever reason, would be more than enough for me.

Your ever faithful and loving husband,

ps. a personal thank you to david for answering my private email
and helping me to communicate my feelings better.

cane me please Mistress Audrey

September 9, 2018 12:33 PM | Christine replied:


Good idea if Audrey doesn't mind getting involved with gerald's cock.

An alternative is to make him use deep heat on himself. He can be instructed to stand on his head, use deep heat, and spurt on his own face in your absence if that is your preference.

Paying for authorised spurts with daily discipline is a good way to go. Unauthorised wanking could be without spurting, and extra punishment if spurting without permission is even suspected.

My manuals are at:-

cane me please Mistress Audrey

September 9, 2018 12:02 PM | Sue Me replied:


As you seem to think there should be some payoff for gerald in the form of sex, why not let him have a reward, or make him pay for a treat, with strokes of the cane.

Then you would be happier that gerald wasn't subjecting himself to pain without pleasure, and gerald would be getting what he wants twice over.

The other morning I woke up to be aware that my subby was a bit fidgety in the bed. I reached over and found his cock was hard. So I toyed with it for a while until he was begging for release. Then I offered him a spurt, but first he had to agree to pay for it with 50 strokes.

When he agreed I stopped toying with his cock and said, "Oh good. I'll try my new riding crop on your botty this afternoon and you can have your spurt afterwards. Or would you prefer to spurt now, and get the 50 strokes after that."

I love it, the ideas I pick up here on DOMestic. Of course he had no choice but to accept the 50 in the afternoon, rather than get his strokes after spurting, which meant going without release until then.

After he had taken his fifty bending over the ottoman at the end of the bed, I did what Christine did to david in her video. I had my subby stand on his head so I could get easy access to his cock to play with it.

He was able to look up my skirt as I slapped his cock, which I love doing before I jerk him off. I also tried what you did to gerald and used my washing up gloves to give my subby a handjob. The advantage of using rubber gloves is I can rub in some deep heat cream on his balls, without getting any on my hands.

Maybe it's an idea you could use on gerald. Say 50 of the cane for a handjob while looking up your skirt. An offer he won't refuse I'd say.

best to you and Christine,

letting my slave wank more?

August 29, 2018 11:35 AM | David replied:


Christine wrote:

>David should have also suggested the other thing I do quite
>regularly to him

Which reminds me. I'm not sure if Helen wants to be actively
involved in methods of modifying his pleasure from spurting, but
if so, there is also your post about "pegging" here:-

If Helen doesn't have a strap on, or wants to just supervise or
regulate, she could adapt your idea and make him use a butt plug
on himself and restrict him to the same one finger relief.

Christine wrote in that post:

"I'll let him use the tip of one finger of his right hand to
stimulate his own "big clitoris" at the same time like a


"he has to catch all the mess in the palm of his right hand,
which means the stimulation stops at the very moment he starts
to spurt."


"If any of his mess lands anywhere but his hand, then a good
thrashing follows"


"he has to lick his hand clean and eat all his mess"

I can assure Helen that this process makes me feel very
submissive, so it may help her with keeping subby motivated when
permitted the extra wanking Helen wants to allow him.


Download "Games People Play" by David at

cane me please Mistress Audrey

August 27, 2018 4:21 PM | Audrey replied:

Susan and Christine, (and David?)

Thanks for your input on this topic.

The news is that I did give Gerald a caning. He obviously didn't
give any resistance to the idea, or question my motives for
caning him.

In some ways it was pitiful to see him so willingly submit
himself to such an indignity, and without any reason for it.
Except of course that I was aware of his erection and arousal.

As I landed each stroke I found myself questioning his reasoning
in going through with this, as it wasn't going to lead to
getting me into bed with him, which was in the past, I thought,
his motivation.

Which still left me conflicted. He is aroused, and I'm not
offering anything. I'm feeling guilt and sympathy even pity.
Apart from the visible signs of Gerald's enjoyment, none of it
feels positive as it did back in the day when eventually one or
both of us got some sexual pleasure at the end of it.

Gerald was quiet and obedient, taking his punishment without
protest. I didn't know what to say while I did it without
becoming the Mistress again. If I become his Mistress, that
brings with it the idea of an eventual sexual climax, if not for
me, then at least for him.

I thought about saying something like Susan said. But the sight
of his bottom didn't do anything for me, so I didn't want to lie
and say I liked his striped red bottom. So I was silent too.
It ended with me telling him to pull up his pants as I left the

Not sure when, how, or even if, I can do this again.

Your thoughts please, many thanks.

cane me please Mistress Audrey

August 27, 2018 1:42 PM | Christine replied:

Hello Susan,

you wrote:

>when I decide to give him a spanking, he often protests
>that he's done nothing wrong.

Submissives often like to protest because they want to hear your
response. If he truly hasn't done anything wrong then you can
simply say...

"No, you've been a very good boy. I'm very pleased with your
behaviour. That's why I only give you a regular spanking. Bad
boys get much worse..."

>I just tell him that I like to see his bottom nicely reddened.
>But I wonder if that's enough for him.

I think that's likely to be perfect for him. They often like to
believe that they suffer because you enjoy it. Liking to see it
red is the kind of thing that means it's all about you, not

If he wants more re-assurance that it's because you enjoy it,
he's likely to say something like... "But it's not fair."

When they say stuff like that it's usually because they want to
hear your response. It's emotionally satisfying to them to have
you assure them that they have to suffer for you.

In which case you could agree. "No, of course it's not fair.
It's for my pleasure, not yours. Don't you want to please me? Or
are you going to be a selfish boy today?"

The more unreasonable such a position seems, the more satisfying
it is for many submissives.

So that even if you disagree, "Of course it's fair. When we
women keep men's bottoms well reddened, you behave much better.
So it's obviously good for you. You don't want to be one of
those nasty macho louts who are not properly controlled by a
woman do you?"

That may also seem unreasonable and thus exciting. Just as when
you obfuscate, and neither agree nor disagree.

"Are you arguing and talking back to me? Perhaps you are not
such a good boy who should get a bit more than a spanking today?
We can use the ____ if your attitude needs adjustment."

(Insert appropriate escalation in the blank)

That's a good position to take if you want an excuse to give him
a bit extra.

Or, simply. "Are you forgetting who's the boss in this house?"

It doesn't really matter what position you like to take, the
important thing is it is your position at that moment.

Even if you change it the next day, at the time it's one he can
believe in and his fantasy has become reality.

Hopefully that means yours has too?

BTW I agree. A nice red bottom on a man looks much nicer.
That's what I told David yesterday. ;-)

sincerely, Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software. Also on your phone and mobile
devices. Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

cane me please Mistress Audrey

August 27, 2018 12:13 PM | Sue Me replied:


I've been following your discussion with Audrey and given that he likes to think you've forced him, I wonder what justification you offer to david for having to accept daily discipline.

My house-husband is a very good boy, who hardly ever does anything to displease me, so I don't have anything to punish him for. So, when I decide to give him a spanking, he often protests that he's done nothing wrong.

I just tell him that I like to see his bottom nicely reddened. But I wonder if that's enough for him.

Thanks as usual,

cane me please Mistress Audrey

August 25, 2018 6:09 PM | Christine replied:

Hello Audrey,

you wrote:

>Flow charts and marriage guidance ideas all evident

Yes, my first job out of school, computer programming, still
shows in the way I tackle many issues. Marriage guidance?
Probably not so good at that, but you also wrote:-

>You certainly gave me a way to think through the issues for

I'm glad. Perhaps that's how marriage guidance works?

>you may have interpreted my remark "how do I suddenly do
>something that I haven't done in ages" to mean suddenly
>becoming "Mistress" to Gerald again.

It was more along the lines of thinking that if you left it
weeks or months between giving him some much needed discipline,
without having established a new style, such as that of the
disciplinary wife, that you might need to at least appear to be
"The Mistress" to make it work for one or both of you.

>you thought that there would be a problem for Gerald in getting
>back in the mood to be my "Slave" and being receptive to
>punishment, hence sending him off with rules about

Yes, that is something that some men find. They need to get into
a Mistress/slave kinky mindset before accepting the discipline
that they need, but that so often they love to hate. They want
to believe they are being forced.

The reason that many men indulge themselves in extreme FemDom
fantasising in the first place, is that they find it difficult
to accept that they actually long to be regularly disciplined or
caned by a strong woman.

So instead of asking her to be a disciplinary wife, he instead
suggests lots of kinky sex games.

I have found as we transitioned into post menopausal life that I
am now able to discipline David on a daily basis without any
need for ideas about kinky sex or force. So, I am now a
disciplinary wife, who has lots more knowledge of FemDom than
many. But I don't need to use it, I just tell him he's going to
get a caning, and he takes it without protest.

That FemDom knowledge is handy if I ever did want to use it. But
I no longer find I need or want to indulge in the kinkier styles
of behaviour often, and if I ever do so now, it is by way of a
treat for David. You'll see such play reflected in what David
writes, because he enjoys the fantasy.

>he doesn't need me to tell him to masturbate to get him in the
>mood for a caning. He clearly wants it too much for there to
>be any problem there.

Then I'd say that he would present no problem to you in adopting
whatever style suits you.

>If I give Gerald what he clearly still needs at an emotional
>level, I now know that it will also arouse him sexually. I'm
>not sure I know how to process his arousal.

How we process the arousal of another person depends on what we
think it represents.

If it represents a demand or expectation then it might be
perceived as negative.

If it represents appreciation without any expectation whatsoever
then it can be processed positively.

As Mae West would say....

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you pleased to see me"

So, I like it when he's pleased to see me. I can now take an
erection as a compliment on the way I look without thinking he
is expecting anything. That's a great place to be for me. A real
benefit of the menopause.

Just as I like it when he's pleased to be bent over taking his
discipline. I know I don't have to do anything else, and if I
thrash him until he begs and an erection is still evident, then
I know I've not crossed any lines. He's just showing his

It's nice to know that a man is appreciative of his discipline .

>How do we detach the sex from the control.

I think it's already detached as much as it will ever be. It's
unrealistic to expect that something which fulfils a person, man
or woman, emotionally will not have some affect on how they feel
sexually. If that person is a man who is still potent or
sexually active, then that effect will cause visible arousal.

>how do I do something different to what we used to do so that
>neither of us will expect what we previously did?

Reading Gerald's post again suggests to me that he no longer
expects what you previously did. I think that it may be your own
feelings about what is expected of you, or that you expect of
yourself, that is the barrier to moving forward.

>I'm just in the process of deciding how best to do it and how
>often would work best

As often as you like. Gerald is probably going to be reading
this and thinking the more often the better. But he would also
now accept that it should not be more often than you feel you
want to do it.

>as Gerald obviously reads this blog, I'm thinking it may not be
>a good idea to announce my plan here?

I don't think we need to hear your plan. But I do think Gerald
needs to know what it is. I'm a great believer in communication
in relationships.

If your plan is to not have a plan, then it's best that Gerald
understands how that is going to work.

>If I find a way to process or ignore his arousal, it might be
>that I'd want to cane him most days?

I didn't want to at first. But as I came to the realisation that
David no longer expected anything of me, but simply greatly
appreciated whatever he got, then yes the positive circle
resumed so that now I do want to cane him most days.

It may seem daft, but now I'm irritated if life gets in the way
and events stop me remembering to give him at least one caning
in a day.

So if my aide memoir pops up on my phone, when lunch has gone on
too long with friends, I may just smile and click 'remind me

>it may be best not to have Gerald get any kind of reminder on
>his phone, and then when my app reminds me, I can safely decide
>whether to just ignore it, suggest he got some exercise, or
>decide to cane him.

Yes. Or just click 'remind me later'.

If I get to bedtime without caning David because we've been run
off our feet, and I finally remember it at the last minute as my
head hits the pillow, I may just use my memory of FemDom
techniques to give him something to fantasise over, as a treat.

I still love the brown packing tape I wrote about in "More fun
with packing tape" at:-

So I've been known to call him in and say drowsily "Put the
packing tape on tonight, and you can ask me for a treat before
removing it tomorrow".

I've often adapted David's own fantasies to suit me over the
years. He had one where he got little treats in a lovely little
fictional story called "From Stiletto to Fluffy Slippers" at:-

It's complete nonsense about me forcing him to take severe
punishment. But I particularly enjoyed his pathetic acceptance
as he described it at the end of part two so I made my own
version of that into a reality.

This is how his packing tape came off one afternoon.....

"Please may I remove the packing tape and have a little treat

"Yes. Take it off now. I want you in position on the bed after
my shower for a caning. You can have a little treat after that."

I came out of the shower, and got dressed in the bedroom as I
watched him to make sure he wasn't peeking.

"Are we ready wanker?"

"Yes Ma'am, thank you Ma'am."

He was enthusiastically thanking his wife for disciplining and
punishing him because he hoped for a little treat. What a
pathetic wimp he wants to feel he is!

Ten with the cane went much as usual, He was accustomed to
those. I didn't ask him to count them.

"Treat time. Would you like to see me in stockings wanker?"

"Oh yes please Ma'am."

His eagerness was indeed pathetic. A rare treat indeed.

"It will cost you another thirty.... Will you pay that?"

"Oh yes Ma'am please Ma'am. I'd love to give you thirty for such
a wonderful privilege Ma'am."

So, he had thirty more and this time he counted them for me as I

"OK wimp. Here it is, have a look at me you pathetic little man.
Turn your head."

He did so, and to his surprise I was there without a skirt. His
words now from his story.....

That delicious little mound of venus covered in silky panties
above dark tan stockings was in plain view. She had been like
that for how long? I could have had my treat without asking for
one, just by turning my head.

Back to reality.....

"Would you like to go to the garage for a wank now?"

"Yes please Ma'am. But can I look at you for just a little
longer please."

"OK but I will have to cane you while you look. Treats have a

"Yes Ma'am, thank you Ma'am."

I took up the thin cane, as I'm not that mean ;-)

"No need to count, but you can beg me to stop whenever you

I continued for maybe thirty more strokes until it became clear
he wasn't going to beg any time soon. He was probably enjoying
the combination of thin cane and ogling me too much to want it
to stop.

"Enjoying your treat."

"Oh yes Ma'am thank you Ma'am."

"Have a good long look, it's going to cost you ten strokes of
the thick cane if you want to spurt down in the garage as you
remember this treat. Is it worth another ten with the thick

"Oh yes Ma'am, it is worth it, thank you Ma'am."

"Very well then, don't take your eyes off me while you pay for
the privilege."

Back to his words from the story......

And I did not, and they were the loveliest ten strokes I've ever
taken. Painful, but lovely. Can you believe it? I was in heaven
as my wife caned my backside.

Back to reality....

"Treat over now. Go and toss off..."

"Thank you Ma'am" he uttered as he dove down to the floor and
kissed my feet.

"Enough now.... I know you are grateful, and so you should be,
now go."

He got up and scuttled away.

I removed the stockings and put on a thin dress more suitable
for the heat of the afternoon.

When he returned to the living room after his nasty spurt in the
garage. I asked him "Is your bottom sore."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Was it worth it?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh Yes, Ma'am, I'm sure it was worth it Ma'am. Thank you

I laughed, "You are so much easier to control nowadays."

Christine at

Renew or get your DOMestic password at

cane me please Mistress Audrey

August 24, 2018 10:49 AM | Audrey replied:

Hello Christine,

Thanks for your clever plan. Probably more than I will actually
need, but I appreciate the way you tried to cover all the bases
for both of us. Flow charts and marriage guidance ideas all
evident in one post?

I think that you may have interpreted my remark "how do I
suddenly do something that I haven't done in ages" to mean
suddenly becoming "Mistress" to Gerald again. And I think you
thought that there would be a problem for Gerald in getting back
in the mood to be my "Slave" and being receptive to punishment,
hence sending him off with rules about masturbating.

I don't think there is any problem for Gerald, in becoming slave
again, and seeing me as his mistress. Quite the opposite. And
I've no doubt he doesn't need me to tell him to masturbate to
get him in the mood for a caning. He clearly wants it too much
for there to be any problem there.

The problem would arise when I start feeling he was thinking of
me as "Mistress Audrey". His "Mistress" is not coming back.
Mistress Audrey was mostly a sexual role play, which fulfilled
both of us with sexual pleasure and gave me a level of control I
enjoyed. Sexual pleasure had an emotional role in our
relationship which is now gone for me.

If I give Gerald what he clearly still needs at an emotional
level, I now know that it will also arouse him sexually. I'm not
sure I know how to process his arousal. How do we detach the sex
from the control. I wonder, how do I do something different to
what we used to do so that neither of us will expect what we
previously did?

Anyway, I know he needs me to cane him. I'm just in the process
of deciding how best to do it and how often would work best.
And as Gerald obviously reads this blog, I'm thinking it may not
be a good idea to announce my plan here?

You certainly gave me a way to think through the issues for
myself. I see why your plan had Gerald leaving to do some
exercise before my reminder occurred, and yes you are right, it
wouldn't work if an audible alarm announced to both me and
Gerald that I might be considering giving him some punishment.

That would create disappointment in Gerald if I didn't cane him,
and create stress for me, in that I'd feel I had to. However, I
do have an app that gives me a reminder, and I can set it to not
emit any sounds.

So, I could do as you do, and get a daily reminder, and just
ignore it if it's not convenient. I think a reminder at longer
intervals than every day or two might create a situation where I
never got round to doing anything at all. If I find a way to
process or ignore his arousal, it might be that I'd want to cane
him most days?

The anagram was lovely. Sending Gerald for regular exercise was
inspired. Because we do have a couple of machines, now back in
their original boxes in the garage. We've got a treadmill and a
rowing machine. We got out of the habit of using those toys, and
I needed the box room for guests, so they've been buried at the
back of the garage for years.

So I'm thinking it may be best not to have Gerald get any kind
of reminder on his phone, and then when my app reminds me, I can
safely decide whether to just ignore it, suggest he got some
exercise, or decide to cane him.

Many thanks once again,

cane me please Mistress Audrey

August 19, 2018 4:41 PM | Christine replied:

From: Christine at

Hello Audrey,

Thanks for your frank and touching email.

Reading both your email and Gerald's email, the way I see it, is
that my mission if I choose to accept it ;-) is to suggest a
plan that will:-

1. Make sure you remember to discipline Gerald on very rare
occasions, but never put you in a position where you feel
obliged to..

2. Make sure that Gerald knows you will do so at some distant
future date, and keeps himself mentally ready to obey you so
that when it happens he is receptive to it and ready to take it
without causing you any embarrassment.

3. Provides a method of discipline that is not too strenuous for

Hmmm. That doesn't seem so hard, not knowing your precise
physical capabilities. I'll tackle the easiest part first and
see how we go.

Memory:- You could use a memory aid that helps you not to forget
things for months on end, but at the same time doesn't impose a
sense of obligation.

Set a frequency for an alarm, text message or email reminder
with content that will not stress you or impose any obligation
on you. There are email and SMS text reminder services on the
web. But nowadays most phones are up to the task.

OK:- that's easy to say, but implementation?

I've adapted below a memory aid system I've used with my

I like to be reminded daily, so that when I ignore it (most
days) I still stay abreast of what my wanker is up to. I also
like my submissive to get lots of daily exercise so in the
system I suggest for you below I've used "day", but it could
just as easily be every Saturday afternoon, or the 13th day of
every month. Whatever works best for you.

Every ___ day at 3.30pm Gerald's phone alarm/wake up call sounds
on his phone, at which time he is under standing orders (only
when you are alone at home) to go to the "machine" room.
(machine? - all will hopefully become clear)

If he is/was in the same room as you when his alarm goes off, he
has now left the room. If he was not in your presence, this has
not disturbed you at all.

His alarm time is earlier than yours so that there is no stress
placed on you by his presence when your own alarm or reminder

Every ___ day at 3.35 pm an alarm goes off on Audrey's phone,
ideally with an innocent message displayed like "machine time".
This is to indicate to you that Gerald is either going to be
using the exercise machine (or getting excited and wanking)
about now.

(If you haven't got a machine, get him to buy one. Daily
exercise is better for him than wanking!)

No obligation on you to do anything more yourself. That's it,
your mission is done. Gerald is now busy following the plan
detailed below.

If you are with anyone, or not at home, then the machine time
message is either postponed or forgotten.

BTW:- Machine is also an anagram of "cane him" which I find
amuses me, but it may helpfully suggest to you that an alternate
to the exercise machine is the anagram "cane him" if you happen
to feel like it today. If not, no worries, Gerald is now busy.

But how is he busy?

Standing orders:- In the machine room Gerald is allowed to stand
in the corner facing the wall or a clock and wank for up to half
an hour, he must open his phone and view videos or pictures of
you (or not - whatever suits you) and wank while thinking or
saying "I have to do my punishment exercise to please Mistress
Audrey when she commands."

If he doesn't want the permitted wank (never happens with my
submissive) he can go straight to the exercise machine.

4pm. is his punishment machine time. And for him this is because
you wish it or command it. His phone could send another alarm
message to him at this time to remind him to stop wanking and
get some real exercise (no need for another phone message if he
is facing a clock in the room).

If you arrive in his presence before 4pm it is most likely
because you are in the mood to "thrash him" - lucky Gerald!
Order him to stop wanking and tell him to get in position. Go
for it Audrey!

On most (or many) days you have not arrived by 4pm so he is then
to stop wanking and get on the exercise machine and start
pedalling, rowing, or whatever the machine is designed for. He
must stay on the machine until at least 4.30pm.

There is a strong likelihood he will be there with an erection
at 4.30pm. if he is thinking something along the lines of "this
is the punishment that Mistress Audrey has ordered" and
hopefully that is what has been achieved by this plan.

Gerald is now much healthier and probably much happier ;-)

The purpose of the above was simply to create a memory aid and
an opportunity for Audrey to punish if you wish to take it. We
will assume you will not usually take the opportunity, so
nothing more is needed from you.

It is up to Gerald what happens after machine time. I would
recommend that Gerald has a list of at least 7 self administered
spurting punishments in the machine room or somewhere that he
can access them. The list should be labelled by the days of the
week. Permission is not granted to ejaculate unless the self
administered punishment of the day is used. (let me know if
you'd like a list of 7)

On the rare occasion you do decide to apply a dose of discipline
yourself you will need an implement.

Punishment Implement and aches and pains:-

As I too suffer aches and pains I tend to choose the implement
that I can most easily wield based on my current condition. I
find a riding crop can produce a lovely result with the minimum
of effort or force.

Or you could use a broad, heavy and slightly flexible paddle.
One that you can let fall without too much force, a paddle that
produces a nice wide red swathe across the bottom. I have a big
leather strap that Klaus gave me thirty years ago that still
does that job well. A very long plastic ruler is surprisingly
good for this.

A cat of nine tails like my own with thin leather laces, with or
without the knots, is possibly the best as it can be flicked
across the recipient/victim and produces a result with little or
no effort.

The cat can be great fun if you've taken a comfortable sitting
position that allows using the implement with little or no

(watch me using the cat in "The Caning", as Gerald has a copy of
it, and you can see how little effort it takes for my "wanker"
to apparently fear it much more than the cane and thus for me to
enjoy it more - maximum given with minimum effort).

You can task Gerald to invent, manufacture or find implement/s
that with minimal force provides the maximum redness. With the
internet to help him he should be able to get lots of opinions
on how best to achieve that.

(let me know if you'd like me to post a picture of any of the
implements I've discussed and I'll try and oblige)

If you'd like any more help from me or David, just send in
another message.

A radical alternative is to employ a professional to visit and
administer regular punishment, but that may be beyond your
emotional limits or budget. I might consider this myself if I
ever become physically incapable of administering an occasional

I'm quite unusual in the that the menopause has been with me
much longer than I care to remember, but after I'd been going
through it for about 15 years it started to very seriously and
radically impact on the way David and I play some twelve years

Yes, add those two together and that is around 30 years of hot
flushes and worse and no sign of it stopping yet!

Anyway there are a number of threads (some initiated by me)
discussing this on DOMestic in 2006 at:-

The good news is that there is fun to be had during and
hopefully beyond the menopause.

That is if I ever see that magical place over the rainbow and
beyond the menopause.


The DOMestic discussion list. Now in our 23rd year. The password
site now has over 6,700 files with well over 400 stories, plus
pictures, and many hundreds of articles. Still only $26.99 for a
one year password. $16.99 for six months at

Cuckoldry and Pretending

August 19, 2018 2:08 PM | Christine replied:

Hello Susan

you asked:

>he gets to read your posts on DOMestic

You are right. He will eventually read everything I write, on
DOMestic or elsewhere, in fact it's probably an obsession with

>so he'll know you weren't really cuckolding him at all?

Yes, and no. Yes on that occasion, he'll find out when he reads
my post, but for a while anyway, until then, even the fake was
real to him and very exciting.

But the real one the next time is even more exciting and
humiliating at the same time ;-) The pleasure pain of the

You see it happens that I put him in the cupboard more often
than I post about it on DOMestic, so although he may know I was
just pretending on that particular afternoon or evening, he will
not know for sure next time.

It's probably true that he thinks I'm pretending whenever I put
him the cupboard in the bedroom, but there are things I do that
tends to make him realise that I really have a "friend"

I'll have him help me get dressed up, before my friend arrives,
and help me into high heels. Then he knows it must be someone
special for me to suffer heels! I'm rarely able to wear them
nowadays, much as I'd love to.

As he helps me in the bedroom he gets to see me in my sexiest
underwear and put on a little sexy black dress before doing my
make-up. Now he'll really begin to think it's real as I tell him to
strip down to his underpants.

"Nasty little wanker," I remark as I notice his erection. I lock
his hands into the anti wanking mitts. This time I put him in
the special chest I keep for the purpose. and close the lid on
him. I don't lock the lid so he can escape in an emergency. Or
stretch his legs if he were to get cramp.

If it were the wardrobe, then I can and do lock it because we
both know the lock will give at the slightest push. We have
discussed and tested it.

"Stay," I order as my heels click on the tiled floor and the
bedroom door closes behind me.

When he hears the front door opening and closing and music on
for a while before things go quiet, his mind will be a whirl
with ideas about just what is happening downstairs.

When he hears voices he will not be sure if it's a "girlfriend"
having a drink with me, or is that a male voice?

Now it's gone very quiet. Is it a girlfriend for a chat? But now
it's gone quiet he'll have nasty images in his mind. The cuckold
wonders whether I'm sucking on something stiff, something I
never do for him. What a dirty mind he has, especially when it
goes quiet and his imagination runs riot.

At bedtime I'll let him out of the chest or the wardrobe,
whichever it was on this occasion. Now my little black dress is
missing. My panties are nowhere to be seen and his eyes search
my body for signs of what? I'm now in my stockinged feet and
suspender belt as I sit at my dressing table removing my

I summon him to my side and I notice his erection as I remove
his mitts. "Glad to see you've been a good boy and not spurted
in my cupboard. But I've had enough cock for one night. You can
go now," I'll tell him. "Clean up any mess downstairs before you
come to bed. You can sniff my knickers if they are down there,
but no spurting..."

He'll leave the room with his erection bouncing about
unsatisfied. He'll find the empty wine glasses and the two empty
snack plates downstairs. He'll find my discarded panties and
heels, and my little black dress and ask himself when and in
what circumstances they all came off.

As he sniffs my knickers he will imagine that a man removed

>Thanks for a great blog, it had been quiet for too long, glad to
>see you are back on form.

Yes, back on form Susan. I'm always here, but someone, I forget
who, once suggested on DOMestic that me jumping in and answering
all questions wasn't leaving space for other folk. So only if a
subject or posts grabs my interest or asks me a question do I
feel I've got to reply.

sincerely, Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software. Now on your phone and mobile
devices. Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

cane me please Mistress Audrey

August 19, 2018 10:43 AM | Audrey replied:

Hello Christine and David,

Thanks for helping Gerald and I through our issues.

Gerald did as David recommended and asked my permission before
sending me both messages. As David suggested I did ask Gerald
why he wanted me to read them, even though I could guess it was
going to be about "getting his needs met".

It was hard for him to say it, but he blurted out, "because I
think I need to be punished" and I could see that there were
tears in his eyes.

The tears surprised me, and I immediately felt sympathy for him
but I still felt inherent hostility to his request for
punishment or discipline.

David was right, it is sometimes difficult to just talk. That is
true for Gerald and I. So I told him I would read the messages
and reply here on DOMestic. I'm so grateful to you for being
there to edit and make our conversation accessible to others.

There is one positive, and that is that by sharing as you have
done we'll be able to help others. Anyway....

The problem is that Gerald, being a person with a sex drive that
is obviously still going strong, nay not understand what it's
like being a person who doesn't have an interest any more.

Beyond that, I don't think he grasped my true motivation when I
was sexually active. It was his kink and while it's true that I
got a lot of pleasure from it, the reason it pleased me was
because he was so very excited by what I did to him, that his
joy triggered my own arousal. A very positive circle we had
going for us.

Now though, it is in danger of becoming very negative, if I feel
obliged to do something that I view as being sexual for him when
there is no arousal for me any more.

I want him to get his sexual pleasure, but I don't want to feel
that I have to be a part of it.

I _CAN_ be a part of it sometimes, maybe, and it might even be
enjoyable sometimes, _IF_ I don't feel stressed by the need to
do it.

So, Gerald said something at the end of his message which maybe
I can work with "Only when and if the mood strikes you would be
more than enough for me"

If I take Gerald at his word, and I'm sure he means what he says
now at least, then once in a while it might be amusing to thrash
him - at least I think it might be. But I'm not sure how often
I'd like to? When I'm not feeling any obligation it may be more
often? I just don't know.

There are other issues of getting old that I would have to
overcome, not least is the memory issue.

It could be days and days, running on into weeks before I
remember, "Oh yes, I did promise I'd hit him once in a while" -
and then if I do remember, and it's been months, how do I
suddenly do something that I haven't done in ages.

Lastly, there is the problem of aches and pains and aging. I
can't do everything I used to, and wielding the cane isn't as
easy for me as it used to be.

Your thoughts?

Thanks very much.

cane me please Mistress Audrey

August 18, 2018 1:59 AM | David replied:

Hello Gerald,

I've just edited your very moving account of your marriage to

I'm sending this reply to you privately before it is actually
posted to DOMestic.

I think you should stop and think carefully before you act on
your plan to send your message on to Audrey by email. You know
her, and we do not, but it is always best to sleep on things
before firing off an email.

Wouldn't it be better to talk to Audrey first and tell her that
you've just read my caning/belting account on DOMestic, that you
found it erotic, and inspiring, and ask her if she would mind
reading it and your response on DOMestic.

If she agrees, then you could send her both my message, and your
own response to it.

The advantage of this approach is that Audrey would have time to
adjust, question you on why you want to send it to her, and
consider whether she wants to go further, before being thrust
back into your kink.

Basically I'm saying don't push her off the diving board at the
pool, ask her if she wants to jump.

Sometimes we find it hard to do what should be the easiest thing
in the world, to just talk to each other.


You can read my own (now very old) article "why" at

DOMestic by new email system

August 17, 2018 1:42 AM | Christine replied:

I'm not "on duty" at this time of night often Gerald.

There's one problem with tying up David and locking him in my bedroom
wardrobe while I pretend to be enjoying myself with a "friend" downstairs.

It leaves me at a loose end and listening to David's phone tweet that
there is a message to be moderated on DOMestic.

Send in that email and I'll have something to read :-)

DOMestic by new email system

August 17, 2018 1:28 AM | Gerald replied:

Wow that was quick.

I didn't think Mistress Christine would be on duty as I posted my message
and reply to me personally within 20 minutes.

I'll send you a long post by email about me and my Mistress Audrey in a
while, maybe later tonight.

DOMestic by new email system

August 17, 2018 12:30 AM | Christine replied:

Thanks for pointing out the glitch Gerald. Not so much a bug,
more an undocumented feature.

The system was configured by David to only send the "above the fold"
content of original threads, with a clickable link to the full post.
But for replies it sent out the whole reply.

That seems bit daft to me. I suppose the theory was that the first
post in a thread would be long and the replies short. But in my
experience the opposite is often true.

David is tied up at the moment ;-) So I've changed the configuration
myself so that in future you should get the full post by email.

If my quick fix doesn't work David can tinker with it after I untie him ;-)

DOMestic by new email system

August 17, 2018 12:12 AM | Gerald replied:

Some posts come through by email with a whole page of text,
but for other posts I only get the first couple of paragraphs.

Is there a glitch in the new email system?

letting my slave wank more?

August 8, 2018 2:52 PM | Christine replied:

Hello Helen,

you asked for:

>suggestions on how I can give my little wanker more spurts,
>and keep him motivated

For motivation, one important thing is the psychology. So you
may find he'll love it if you find some reason that you can
explain to him for another new change in your policy.

In my experience submissive men love it if we let them believe
it is because we enjoy seeing them suffer that we wicked women
are so cruel. (it may be poppycock but they love it!)

So for example you could explain to him that although you have
decided to allow him more spurts for health reasons, you've
realised that you are not getting the pleasure you used to get
from teasing and denying him.

It is after all true, as you did say about one of my videos:-

>"I loved the cock slapping scenes in her video, which I've
>done often prior to leaving him frustrated. Great fun!"

So it is fair to say you are not getting as much "fun" as you
used to get from slapping his penis and leaving him frustrated.

It is quite reasonable then for you to insist on some recompense
for this loss of pleasure on your part ;-)

The only one of my videos your description seems to apply to is
"Waters of the Queen" where I "Queen" David by sitting on his
face and slapping his penis both before and after taking my own
pleasure. I then leave him erect and unsatisfied.

In the end David gets his final denouement. (the "Waters" that
Donald also seems to appreciate!) as Donald wrote:-

>"Why not let your slave jerk off, but only while you pee on
>him? I think you'll find he is a lot less angsty after being
>treated like a toilet

So as you seem to enjoy that video I'm obliged to agree with Don
and David who both seem to think that you should consider
dousing him at the point of ejaculation as a suitable way to
allow him his spurts.

You might say something like:-

"You are getting your pleasures more regularly, so it's only
fair that I should have more fun too!"

But if that particular fun is not to your taste, just invent
some reason that appeals to you for some other penalty.

David suggested making your slave pay a price for spurts which
is something I agree with.

Let him know that you believe men should not be allowed too much
self-pleasuring as it's bad for their attitude, so you are going
to make spurting painful and/or humiliating for him unless he
has been so exceptionally good that you think he deserves a
reward or treat.

I often make David pay with a caning and as he mentioned
sometimes he has to pay immediately after he has spurted.

David wrote:

>One price that always seems wickedly cruel to me is having to
>accept a caning straight _after_ the spurt. This is something
>that my Mistress knows I hate, so the fact that she wants to
>do it must be because she is enjoying being cruel.

As you can see, the motivation of liking to believe I'm doing it
because I enjoy being cruel to him does seem to be part of his

He may not have realised it but I do also make a point of doing
this when he's recently been a bit moody! And as you said of
your sub/slave:-

>"his attitude seems more surly than it used to be when I kept
>him frustrated"

So these suggestions are all attitude altering ideas I think may
be helpful with your subbie.

With David I usually am more kind, and give him his caning
before letting him spurt. They find it easier to bear, even
exciting, if they are still aroused. But lest he enjoys it too
much I may well find another way to make the spurt itself either
humiliating or painful.

And Don's suggestion is always a lot of fun :-) It's really
quite amusing to hear him below me starting to moan with his
climax, and let myself go, dousing him right at the peak of his

After I've finished urinating on him, I'll stand up and look
down on him and I might ask him "What are you David?"

He now knows, having been taught this over the years, that the
correct response is, "A toilet Mistress".

As I say, for future motivation, and the happiness of your
submissive, it's generally good for them to think you enjoy
their humiliation.

But David should have also suggested the other thing I do quite
regularly to him. I zap him at the point of his climax, which
tends to curb or at the least modify the pleasure he gets from

See my "remote control wanker" post at:-

for more on using zappers.

Also, take a wander around your local hardware (or pet) store,
and you may find lots of stuff there that gives you ideas for
how to increase pain and humiliation during wanking. Take a look
at some of the working gloves for gardening and other work.
Making him use these gloves to wank with can provide a spurt
with accompanying discomfort.

Make him fuck the floor, or something uncomfortable that you
have placed on the floor for him to rub himself against.
Sandpaper is also a product you'll find on the shelves of
hardware stores. In carpet stores you can find some spiky
material that holds carpets to the floor.

As you can tell from the length of this reply, it has been a
while since a topic tickled my fancy as much as this one. And if
you'll excuse another pun, Adrian's reply "pricked" my interest.
Sorry Adrian, no offence meant. ;-)

Adrian wrote:

>In my experience dominant women rather like the idea of
>keeping their men in chastity belts.

You are right, at least as far as I am concerned. It was always
a fantasy of mine to have David permanently locked up. That
level of control over a man by way of a simple lock and key
would be great. (some women have achieved it)

Although regular readers will know I never found a belt that
satisfactorily met that fantasy for us, so I resorted to
questioning and punishment as my main means of controlling
David's wanking. But I do find that locking my zapper on David
is quite effective as a reminder of who owns his equipment:-

See pics of my zapper with lock attached here:-

>And what's the point of a chastity belt if he gets to have
>that much supervised sex?

For me, and I suspect perhaps for Helen, the point is that we
have control. We decide when and how he gets sexual relief, even
if some of us now feel that 21 spurts (or milkings) a month are
now necessary for the good health of the male animal. :-)

Some women, also like the idea of keeping his interest from
straying and having the reassurance of knowing he is locked up
when out of our sight. Also knowing that if he gets an erection
while out of our sight, perhaps even ogling a woman at work,
he'll be reminded of who he actually belongs to.

Adrian asked:

>What chance that the research was done by men?

Perhaps -chuckle- maybe even males who want to convince their
women to give them more sex attention?

I think the research is genuine. For some years women like
myself have been concerned over such a possibility. So one
method we have discussed at length here is to give prostate
massage as a way of milking a male for health reasons without
giving him too much conventional stimulation.

See David's post at:-

for some discussion of that.

Adrian also asked:

>But getting real, how many guys actually get to have sex 21
>times a month?

Clearly some in the research group quoted in the link we
provided did. Even if much of that sex was masturbation.

>Surely not many Mistresses are going to pander to subs by
>letting them wank almost every day?

I think you are right, we Mistresses are not going to want to
feel we are "pandering" - Google it and the result looks like

"indulge, gratify, satisfy, cater to, give in to, fulfil, yield
to, bow to, humour, please, accommodate, comply with, go along

and rather humorously they finish their definition with....

"David was always there to pander to her every whim"

It looks like Google may even know the name of who does the
pandering in our household. ;-)

But seriously and "getting real" Adrian. To allow a male a wank
need not be pandering.

For example, one of many techniques when I spot him in an
aroused state in the morning, usually after he has been ogling
me as I get dressed.

I just tell him to go and lay in the bath and wait.

I come through later, now fully dressed, and ask, "Do you want a
cold shower?" (what man does when he is in that state?)

I'm always amused when he answers that he does not. It's a bit
of a Hobson's choice for him as he know that I'm going to
administer the "Waters of the Queen" as a punishment for
unauthorised lust.

I tell him "play with yourself" and it's really quite amusing to
watch him getting ready to spurt, with my bladder full and
knowing what I'm going to do to him.

As he nears the end, he is looking up at me standing above him
beside the bath. He sees me raise my skirt and lower my
knickers, exciting him further, but he also knows what is coming

Then as I perch on the edge of the bath I order, "get your head
up under me, shut your eyes, and spurt quickly, lets get the
nasty business over and done with" and then I start to let go
with my flow.

Then when it is over and I am stood readjusting my clothing,I
might tell him "I'm really very kind to you, giving you a nice
hot shower. A cruel mistress would have made you take a cold

Then I might ask... "Well, aren't you going to thank me?"

As he thanks me for his pathetic spurt, I'm reminded of Raquel
Welch after she has given a man a seeing to with her dildo in
the film Myra Breckinridge.

Helen Ward wrote:

>Ladies and "gentles"

What a lovely turn of phrase. Yes, "gentle" is appropriate for
my "man".

>I saw last year in the news here in the UK that men should
>masturbate more if they want to reduce their risk of cancer.

Well, spurt more anyway.

It doesn't have to be masturbation. I'm sure many Mistresses
could get their males up to 21 spurts a month with a combination
of sexual use, supervised wanks, spurts while he is being
shafted with a dildo, or milked via prostate massage.

>I wonder, how many Mistresses saw that item in the news, and did
>any change your policy on how often you allow your submissive
>"gentle"-man to "spurt" as Christine calls it?

Yes, I did see that in the news at the time. But as I question
David about his masturbation and punish him for it regularly.
I've always thought he was getting more than enough!

But David has just confessed in his own post above:-

>"I do manage to do quite a lot of wanking, (almost every day

Which sounds a bit too 'cocky' to me, so I'm going to bring him
down a peg or two.

I'll start by re-introducing the wanker's diary. This is where I
make him keep a precise record of his lust, his wanking and his

When he keeps a wanker's diary I usually make a point of telling
him to make a note in his wanker's diary of "lust" if I suspect
his eyes are wandering at all.

It is great fun making him so nervous that I might add another
"lust" to his running total that he goes out of his way to look
in the opposite direction whenever there is any sign of an
attractive woman in our vicinity at the supermarket or on the

When he denies he was looking, I might tease him with a remark

"Well she looks very sexy, so you should have a quick look now
then you won't mind by paying the price later. It's only another
six strokes after all."

It's a lovely concept that a man should have to pay whenever a
woman looks attractive. ;-)

With all the women in skimpy beachwear around us this summer,
That is sure to result in me totting up quite a few extra
strokes for him. David really is a naughty boy who will benefit
from any excuse I can find to give him some extra discipline.

strictly, Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software. Now on your phone and mobile
devices. Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

letting my slave wank more?

August 5, 2018 3:50 PM | David replied:


Adrian wrote:

>not many Mistresses are going to pander to subs by letting
>them wank almost every day?

I agree. My Mistress doesn't _let_ me wank almost every day.
Christine punishes me quite regularly for wanking. So even
though I do manage to do quite a lot of wanking, (almost every
day sometimes) you could nevertheless argue that she is not
"letting" me do it.

Helen wrote:

>I've relented and let my slaveboy out of his chastity belt
>once nearly every day for a supervised wank, which gets his
>average up above the recommended 21 times a month

Perhaps this is not as exciting for him as it was previously
when he thought you wanted to control and restrict his
masturbation. I say this because you also wrote:-

>his attitude seems more surly than it used to be when I kept
>him frustrated and barely let him have relief once or twice a

Certainly for me, the Mistress who only lets me have relief once
or twice a month is an exciting phenomena. It allows me to
believe she is loving being mean and enjoying restricting my
behaviour. It is possible that he finds your kindness in
allowing him to wank more often less exciting than the idea of
you wanting to restrict his pleasure.

Helen asked for:

>suggestions on how I can give my little wanker more spurts, and
>keep him motivated

I think you should consider ways of making him pay a penalty for
spurting. And as you have control over it by virtue of a
successful chastity belt, it seems you don't have the option of
punishing him for secretive wanking as Christine does with me.

So I guess one way would be to supervise masturbation until he
is on the verge of spurting, and then offer him a choice. A cold
shower and back in the chastity belt, or pay a price for a

If the price is severe enough for him, he may be able to have
the spurt you want him to have, while still enjoying the idea of
you being the cruel mistress he wants you to be.

The fact that you brought him to the edge before offering him
the choice allows him to imagine you did this because you enjoy
administering the "price", whatever it may be.

One price that always seems wickedly cruel to me is having to
accept a caning straight _after_ the spurt. This is something
that my Mistress knows I hate, so the fact that she wants to do
it must be because she is enjoying being cruel.

This kind of _doublethink_ may be enough to keep him "motivated"
in the way that Christine keeps me believing that she loves
teasing and denial.

Donald wrote:

>let your slave jerk off, but only while you pee on him

That is also the kind of cruelty that frequently works for me.

David at

Download "Prickteasing" by David at

teaching hubby to take cock?

July 2, 2018 11:28 AM | TSB replied:

hubby takes butt plugs, dildos, strap-on, and then cock

humiliation ideas needed

June 19, 2018 2:05 AM | Strippednakedmale replied:

I have a domme friend who comes up with some pretty good
humiliation techniques to use on me.....

naked waxing humiliation

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