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my personal writings - MaitresseX

Date: Fri, 03 Jul 2009 19:12:13 -0000
From: "MaitresseX"

(continued from Real life Fem Dom)

A Never Ending Journey

This journey has brought me places that I did not think I would
ever go. When we met I was searching for something that was very
simple and straight forward. A loving/nurturing relationship,
being worshipped, adored with no taboos or limits. I was not
wrong I just did not have the understanding of how far one could
go in this realm.

Before this I said I would not do many things particularly in
the more extreme realm that we have ventured into. My prior
experiences which were limited do not give me a frame of
reference. This process continually unfolds as we go along this
path. Now we are beginning to explore the deeper recesses of our
dark side. I do not subscribe good/evil to this path it is
simply the full range of being human.

I find the archetypal Goddess Kali exemplifies the extremes from
being a giver and destroyer to loving and cruel. Shiva lays
prone beneath her feet. So now we are exploring the more
extreme; the degradation/humiliation and objectification to the
point where you are no longer considered human. The lowest form
of servitude; selfless and without self.

This is pure worship since there is no expectations or pleasure
derived by you and are rendered totally helpless. Pure obedience
and surrender; you do not have a voice, choice or will. You are
simply an object to be used.

Being a Matriarch

I decided to begin a 24/7 relationship as a Matriarch. It is
inevitable that if you control your slave to some degree you
control his circle which can comprise family and colleagues. I
took these people into consideration in how I dictated myself as
his owner. I found that it was necessary to be responsible and
make judicious decisions for the good of all because of the
interdependent nature of the situation. I made decisions
regarding his work, family and housing,

In retrospect, I believe I made good decisions regarding my
slave and brought order into his life. I was concerned about his
well-being in addition to those who surrounded him. With regards
to his well-being I was concerned about his emotional and
physical health and was careful not to harm him though
occasionally I punished him and hurt him temporarily.

I started the relationship out slowly but it became intense in
short order. He was hungry for slavery and I decided to do an
immersion into slavery after I felt there was chemistry and
compatibility on other levels. There were many facets to this
relationship: physical, spiritual, sexual, intimacy. This was
all-encompassing body, mind, and spirit. I was faced with many
decisions such as how much do I control my slave; do I
micromanage him?

To some degree this sort of relationship was experiential since
I had never been responsible for more than just the slave.
During this process we faced extreme highs and lows because of
expectations vs. reality. We faced outside variables such as
career challenges, money issues and last not least family

This in actuality was a lot of work on my part though when he
did not have obligations to meet he was at my beck and call. I
did not require much in the way of menial tasks since he had a
demanding career which sometimes involved many hours.
Additionally, much time was spent discussing and processing all
that transpired. I didn't have a prescribed routine though he
did serve me in whatever fashion I deemed necessary. I had never
felt such a bond with anyone before it was symbiotic.

The Mistress is a Shaman

The Mistress is a Shaman, Wise Woman, mentor and healer. She
takes you on a journey deep within your psyche and explores your
most primal needs. The slave is totally receptive to whatever
path his Mistress chooses to embark upon. She has total control
of his body, mind, and spirit; he surrenders himself to her and
is rendered helpless. There is a strong physical/spiritual and
sexual need which drives the slave closer to his Mistress that
creates a bond and symbiotic relationship. His pleasure is
derived from hers; his needs are secondary if non-existent. The
Mistress has total power to do as she pleases with her slave.
She can punish/reward, subjugate, objectify, and treat her slave
like common property to be used at her discretion.

The Pendulum Swings

This journey has gone deep within ourselves and to the extreme.
We have touched upon all the aspects but have not fully
experienced the more extreme. I am not afraid to go there since
I know the pendulum will swing back. To reiterate: this has
encompassed body, mind, spirit. This is spiritual, sexual,
primal, loving and nurturing. This is like Kali who is the
nurturer and destroyer, dark/light and yin/yang. The duality is
balance. This is what we should seek; balance and equilibrium.
One can not find happiness without balance.

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