Devotional Dating - TFTB for real female control
Date: 20 Apr 2009 03:43:25 -0000
In Re: C: Devotional Sex, john henry wrote:
>always wanted to be a Knight as expressed in this site and
>would like to know if anyone has any practical knowledge
John (and others),
I have found that the best way to find a Princess is via normal
Devotional Sex does not need the woman to be dominant, and
Devotional Sex allows the Knight to make lots of suggestions
(seen as Topping from the Bottom in traditional BDSM). So your
first Devotional Date will be very different from a slave having
a session with a Mistress.
What has worked very well for me is to arrange a date in the
normal way, and then, if there seems to be some mutual
chemistry, to tell my date something about Devotional Sex during
our first or second date before we have done anything sexual.
This first talk has sometimes been near the end of our
conversation over dinner, sometimes during a long walk, and
sometimes only started when we go back to my place and she
accepts my offer of giving her a foot massage.
Of course you only tell your date what she seems interested to
hear, and you tell her more as it feels appropriate to do so. If
she is interested she will ask many questions, and so it can be
an easy and fun first conversation.
Telling your date that the man not ejaculating comes from an
ancient Eastern tradition is much less confronting than saying
it is a BDSM practice. And telling her that you will do whatever
she says is best done without mentioning BDSM or FemDom. (If she
mentions this you just say that the control aspect is a mild
version of a BDSM Mistress.)
Before I started Devotional Sex most dates did not end up with
sex. So, not surprisingly, when I include a mention of
Devotional Sex when dating, most dates still do not end up with
any sexual activity.
What happens when you tell a "normal" date that because of your
practice of Devotional Sex you will not cum that night, that you
will do whatever she says, that there is no slippery slope so
that one thing need not lead on to another, and that, if she
wants to go that far, you can even go to bed together and you
will give her oral sex without anything else happening?
I have found that many women love the idea of first sexual
activity not being the usual everything must happen.
They love the idea of being able to relax with some intimacy (eg
a foot massage) without feeling that this is expected to lead to
full sex a short time later.
If not mentioned beforehand, during a first foot massage I tell
my date that Devotional Sex is the most fun when we both feel
that her power is real, and a good way to establish this right
at the beginning is for one person to partly or fully undress. I
say that if she chooses to take something off her power is made
real because I am not allowed to touch unless she says so, and
of course I would feel very much that she had power over me if
she asked me to be undressed as I continue with her foot
massage. I usually also say that we can enjoy spending time
together with just one of us undressed without things going any
Sometimes a both fully dressed foot massage is as far as things
go, but more often my date has me undress. Most common is that
my date wants me to keep my underpants on.
Sometimes things then go no further than some kissing and
cuddling in the living room.
During the foot massage I always let my date know that one
option for later is to go to bed with me having to keep my
underpants on all the time we are in bed. I add that this bed
can just be for a cuddle, but that I really love to give oral
sex, and that I am very happy to give her oral without getting
anything in return.
And this is what happens in quite a few dates :-)
My date had not heard of Devotional Sex a few hours ago, but now
she is very much feeling like a Princess. And having enjoyed
giving her oral sex, and knowing that this is as far as things
go, I very much feel like her Knight.
As I said before, most dates don't lead to anything.
My feeling is that for every woman who might have been
interested in me but was put off by my mentioning Devotional Sex
there were more women who would not have done anything if they
thought that starting something would lead to conventional sex,
but liked the idea of Devotional Sex and so something happened
when otherwise nothing would have.
Using Devotional Sex in dating means that it will probably be
many dates before you go as far as intercourse.
As most first (and second) dates do not lead to a medium term
relationship, most Devotional Dating never gets as far as
But I find that Devotional Sex is so much fun and so much more
erotic and satisfying than conventional sex that missing out on
intercourse (until I find a longer term partner) is an
acceptable cost of Devotional Dating.
A written version of the sort of things I would tell a first
date is on my site here:-
This consists of a very mild "can we talk about sex?" page,
followed by an "Outline of Devotional Sex" page, and finally a
"How do we put this into practice" page.
Of course no date gets told all of this. And what is said comes
out bit by bit over the evening. And of course what and how
things are said needs to match your dates interest.
This is very much Topping from the Bottom as almost everything
that happens will be suggested by the Knight.
Having established a mutual feeling that what happens is totally
up to your date, it is often necessary to suggest things several
times. The first mention plants the seed of possibility, the
second or third mentions may lead to action.
For example, when you first mention the idea of one person
undressing for the foot massage, not many women will take this
up straight away. But if after ten or so minutes of further foot
massage you mention that you would find it fun and sexy to be
undressed, would she like you to do this now, you might find
that given the second mention she now says yes. If she says not
yet, just add that she only needs to say "Undress" and you are
committed to obeying her.
Devotional Dating is very real female control because absolutely
nothing happens unless your date wants it to happen. A big part
of the excitement for a Knight is that you never know how far
things will go and which path she will choose.
This has all worked for me many times.
I hope this long post is useful to others and at least some of
you share my success.