DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

The Fem Dom Training Program.
Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

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Re: C: Topping from the bottom a dead end
Date: 26 Jul 2008 21:05:36 -0000
From: jonnyboy

Thanks to all for their input.

Vickie - i guess i was worried i was "getting" Her to do things
already and didn't want to lead the way... it seems to be
working and i suppose it's for the best as she is very new to
this.

Peter - thanks! i am indeed having fun in the lifestyle and in a
vanilla sense.

Mark - thank you, i have often felt it is neither black nor
white... has to have balance. We do talk quite a bit... perhaps
too much as it worries her that our vanilla side may suffer...
she doesn't want a doormat nor a completely dom/sub
relationship.

That being said we usually end up in our skivvies when we talk
about it as it makes us both quite... well you know :)

thanks for your input

Madam - thank you so much, i did just that (its my nature
anyway) and yesterday she came home with a dog collar, a padded
toilet seat and a crop! All new toys for her and quite different
from her previous experiences... so yes she is doing just fine
and by crikey so am i.. i could not be happier.

Yes she would never have thought of these things on her own...
honestly if you knew her she wouldn't have... and our play has
brought this out in her for good or ill who's to say... but if
there was ever anyone who deserved a willing worshipper it was
her and i sure am glad it's me that has the honour

jonnyboy

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Re: C: An understanding wife?
Date: 27 Jul 2008 05:35:31 -0000
From: ashtar's toy

i stumbled onto this page accidentally; i'm a female submissive
with a male Master, so please excuse me for entering this space;
i do so with respect and no intent to intrude.

(herslaveboy post here)

i just wanted to add to this that "herslaveboy" above has some
good points, primarily that you are really thinking all about
yourself and probably making your wife feel very judged and
criticized.

a great example is when she was stressed about her surgery and
you wanted to choose that time to tell her she wasn't doing a
good job as a Dom?!? that is just as selfish as some "normal"
man telling his wife that she isn't being a good wife because
she doesn't want sex at that time!

"herslaveboy" is also right that there might be a lot of
potential here if you could stop making her feel so judged. i
definitely think you should take "herslaveboy's" points very
very seriously.

HOWEVER i would also caution that "herslaveboy" talks a lot
about his own personal experience and the exact terms of his
relationship with his Goddess, and you should definitely be
aware that every D/s relationship has its own shape, its own
contours, its own terms. you and your wife both need to explore
your own deepest desires and learn how to create satisfaction
for both of you - not based on something you read in a book or
saw in a movie, but something that you both want and enjoy.
that's a cooperative, loving process, not a whining, begging,
cajoling process.

i actually think it sounds like you might need to work on your
vanilla relationship first. it doesn't sound like you have very
good communication or trust, and it actually sounds like she
really is not very much able to assert her needs and desires
(since you keep telling her what they should be).

communication, trust, articulating needs - those are vanilla-
level skills. you need those skills before you can progress to
d/S. i would recommend that you see a counselor together and
agree to put all d/S talk on hold for one year while you try to
improve your bedrock marriage and develop these basic skills.

i just want to point out one more option, which probably most
women would reject, but i'll just put it out there. i am also
married to a woman - have been in a lesbian relationship for 16
years. we are deeply in love and have a fantastic sex life with
occasional 3ways with men. one of these men brought out the sub
in me and became my Master, and that is also a very intense,
intimate relationship. he is also married and has a great
sex/love life with his wife, and the four of us hang out as
friends and lovers. our wives don't mind the Master/sub
relationship at all because we always prioritize the wives.
neither of us wants a 24/7 D/s situation so this is perfect for
us.

just putting that out there to say, there are lots of different
alternatives to getting what you want and need.

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Re: C: cuckolding ideas?
Date: 28 Jul 2008 03:42:00 -0000
From: Bo

I am not allowed to have sexual contact with my wife at all
unless another man has had her first. So, if I want some I have
to either wait until she has sex with someone else or encourage
her to do so. It was a clever rule on her part. It makes me not
only want her to have other lovers but to encourage her to do
so.

There is a risk, though. Sometimes she will be all but "fucked-
out". In which case I am left to view her swollen and untidy
body while I service myself.

Bo

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Re: C: how to be dominant for a generous guy?
Date: 27 Jul 2008 22:38:56 -0000
From: Michele

Thanks to Christine and Madamplz. Sorry I am a little late
responding.

Madam, I can imagine your fun with "Harold" and am pretty sure
he was having a lot of fun himself, although of a somewhat
different kind.

In the course of my research on "money slaves" I was really
astonished by the vast number of internet sites devoted - in
part or exclusively - to money slavery, all looking and sounding
(reading) pretty much the same, as though they were all copying
each others. That got me to wonder how much (or how little)
money any of those dozens of women could really make. The
business seems flourishing, so that would seem to suggest that
active money slaves are much more numerous than one might
imagine.

One would think that giving money and gifts to a woman who gives
absolutely nothing back in exchange and whom the giver will
probably never even meet is a very rare perversion. Apparently
it isn't and that keeps me puzzled.

Three male members of the French D/s group on which I started
the discussion have come out stating they are or have been money
slaves, and have agreed to answer my questions.

The most interesting (and intelligent) of the three stated that
he has had two such relationships, one lasting two years and a
half. He never met the woman (although she lived nearby) and
never even talked to her on the phone either.

He estimated that he spent about half of his income on her.
Although he was able to pay all his own bills, he couldn't save
any money or spend anything on leisure or entertainment for
himself. [another guy wasn't as careful: sometimes he had to
skip lunch and had trouble paying his rent.]

According to him, the woman had another, or several other, money
slaves when he first got in touch with her, but gradually
dropped them until he remained the only one, of which he was
very proud. After a while (several months of "building
confidence") he gave her direct access to his bank account and
credit card. He claimed that she was not particularly demanding,
and that in fact she didn't really need the money - which made
it all the more exciting for him.

In answer to one of my questions, he said that he would love to
live with the woman in a D/s - kind of relationship with her in
possession of all his money. The reasons why the relationship
ended are not quite clear, as this young man (he is in his mid
thirties) has a rather oblique and convoluted way of expressing
himself. In the course of our discussion he asked me if I would
like for him to become my money slave. He seemed quite serious.
Of course I said that was completely out of the question.
However I have been wondering whether I might offer him to give
money not to me (I don't need it either) but to some of my
favorite charities (it's more a fantasy than a serious project,
though).

I wonder if anybody on DOMestic is interested in discussing
money slavery (it has various different names) and whether there
are members who are money slaves and would like to explain why
they do it and what satisfaction they derive from it.

Michele

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C: cock humiliation - virtual castration
Date: 28 Jul 2008 09:26:18 -0000
From: verysmallpenis

i like cock humiliation because i have a very small penis, under
2 inches in erection. I hope that somebody understands my
request. I'd like to find a woman who can watch and humiliate my
penis on this forum. Could you help me?

I have a dream. I wish to seem like a castrated male to my
Mistress.

Best regards

J-P

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P: Good trained balanced submissive in California
Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2008 20:15:15 -0000
From: "Derek"

I haven't put an ad on here in quite some time after enjoying a
long term relationship and now it's time to venture out.

First...what a great email group of education that I first
started reading back in 1998. Super Christine!!!

Now... I'm 45, divorced, older teens, great career and live in
the bay area east bay. Good looks, in shape, have super social
friends and yet I don't go out in the leather community much as
time doesn't permit that.

Have been to the Folsom's, SF Fetish ball and two local places
but I'm not looking for a play partner nor a professional
experience because for the past few years I know who I am and
what I desire.

I'm looking for a ltr but I also want to take things as they
come and friends first. There must be the healthy building
blocks set before there is that Female Dominant interaction
which is enriching to a relationship.

What can I offer... cooking, cleaning, errands, good career,
family (but older), fun, stable yet outgoing. Love to pour a
glass of wine, be told to sit on the floor then massage Your
feet as we relax.

Well.... this is a short ad and also wanted to say hello to you
out there who read this.

Enjoy Your summer and keep reading and learning.

submissively,
derek

derekdanville@yahoo.com

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Re: W: controlling male masturbation with high heels
Date: 30 Jul 2008 15:18:47 -0000
From: bee

Christine wrote:

>that was ten years ago -snip- Did my training have a long
>lasting impact? -snip- Were you one of my following that got
>further? -snip- Do you remember what the file was called back
>then? -snip- Naughty Bee! Why did not you ask me directly?

Christine, I was very happy and surprised to see a response from
you! Here are answers to your questions:

Yes. I still often masturbate, kneeling and begging using the
VERY soft stroking method. Sometimes I set the mood by lighting
a candle and kneeling on a small pillow before finding a picture
of sexy shoes to follow the ritual to. I think the impact has
been long lasting, I have a sexy shoe fetish and barefoot fetish
now! I have an orgasm denial fetish too. I also occasionally ask
my partners for permission to cum after they had been pleasured
first!

I think i did go a bit further in the ritual, but I am
forgetting now. I also was part of the email "group" that you
transferred to another on line mistress.

Oh, of course, the file was named wanker!

Forgive me for not asking You about it directly. I honestly
thought you had no interest in talking about it.

I think one of the biggest turn ons for me over the years was
knowing how David was punished for ejaculating without
permission with your cane. It both helped me keep my spurt
inside, or i might suffer the same fate! and it helped me feel
both submissive and aroused while my release was denied!

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