DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

The Fem Dom Training Software.
Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

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admin: A big thanks go to "T"
From: "Christine and David"
Date: Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:31:59 +0100

Hello,

A big thanks go to "T" who wrote to us privately a few days ago
to let us know that our ordering buttons for DOMestic passwords
were not working in Internet Explorer. Which was pretty critical
given the market dominance of that web browser.

Now, a couple of days of work later we can say that all ordering
buttons everywhere on the web site are working again and are
compatible with the latest upgrades to that web browser.

Thanks for your feedback "T" - if you hadn't let us know, we'd
probably still be thinking the recent lack of support was due to
the economy. That'll hopefully teach us to check our web site is
still working each time one of these software "upgrades" takes
place.

sincerely,
Christine and David at u4ds.com

Renew or get your DOMestic password at
http://u4ds.com/password

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C: Topping from the bottom a dead end
Date: Sun, 13 Jul 2008 20:48:24 -0000
From: "jonnyboy54321"

Hi all,

i have been interested in this lifestyle for as long as i knew
what it was and perhaps unwittingly longer. i am recently
divorced from a strong lady who had some interest in it at the
beginning but it waned. i am now with a wonderful lady who is
almost the exact opposite and i couldn't be happier.

Originally when we tippy-toed around the idea she was of the tie
me up and spank me(her) mind-set, intrigued and eager to
explore. i have done some spanking and did a little with her but
it is soooo not me.

Now i am afraid she may be submitting to my desires tho she says
she wouldn't be doing what she is doing if she didn't enjoy
it....

i have no cause whatsoever to complain, she is all i ever hoped
for and more. We have done a lot of furniture play from seats to
stools to toilets, some saran wrap play with in and out gags and
some talk of cuckolding and chastity... all my fantasies but
what of hers?

How do i get her to open up and be the boss? Topping from the
bottom seems a dead end i think, and i love her dearly and want
to serve her totally and keep our love alive.

j

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Re: C: how to be a better dominatrix
From: Madamplz
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2008 10:20:36 EDT

TracieMorgan wrote:

>"The irony of being a Domme is that sometimes it takes total
>submission on our part. It's almost like theatre in that you
>have to emotionally engage your 'audience', lol. You have to
>give in and let go to please your sub, even though you're the
>one in control. His joy will increase yours, and make you feel
>more at ease as time passes and you get more used to the roles.
>Just my 2c, but it's worked for Mine and I."

Being a domme means being the dominant force in the
relationship.

Total submission, pleasing your sub is not domination but
submission. Engaging your audience might be some type of
performance art but it suggests theater, not dominance.

I agree with Christine on this. You're never going to be
convincing as a dominant unless you ARE dominant. You need to
decide what you want from both the relationship and from your
submissive and make him give you that.

That's not to say basic compatibility shouldn't also be at the
core of your relationship. It should be one of the basic
elements in any relationship. Beyond that, you should be the one
to define and steer the relationship forward.

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Re: C: how to be dominant for a generous guy?
Date: 14 Jul 2008 21:14:48 -0000
From: Michele

Christine,

I may have been too harsh in my comments on Pam's post. I was
"judgmental" - a capital sin.

Actually I had not understood Pam's request the way you did. To
me, she seemed to be interested in starting a career, and I
think Madamplz, in her as-usual thoughtful response, felt about
the same.

I must add that just a few days earlier I had done some research
on the net about the weird phenomenon of "money slaves" - men
who give women money and gifts without being supposed to expect
anything in return. There are dozens of Dominatrixes, I found
out, who are into this sort of thing and my research probably
influenced my post.

Anyway this was an opportunity to come back to DOMestic after a
fairly long absence (although I still read the posts
faithfully).

I have been involved with French D/s sites since last fall and
that has reduced the time I used to devote to DOMestic. One of
those sites, SUPREMATIE FEMININE, is connected to a French
version of Elise Sutton's sites, although it is quite
independent and some of the members are quite critical of Sutton
at times.

By the way I have mentioned DOMestic several times on that site,
but most of the members know little or no English... My research
on money slaves was for a discussion on the subject on the SF
site.

To those who remember me, you may be pleased to know that I am
still with Kate and still very much in love, while Severin is
still a wonderful submissive who has completely accepted Kate
and the situation.

PS to Madamplz: you were very right in some of your predictions,
as usual!

Michele

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Re: C: how to be dominant for a generous guy?
From: Madamplz
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:35:33 EDT

I've been giving Pam's pro-domme question some more thought in
the last couple of days. Someone asks this question every once
in awhile so I thought it might be helpful to figure it out in
terms of practical expenses without writing up an entire
business plan. When you weigh all the options (in this case,
only some of them) the decision is a lot easier to make.

As a lifestyler I've tallied the total expense of my clothing to
be about $39,000. The breakdown on this is approximately $18,000
for my fetish clothing, another $7,000 in boots, shoes, and
leather coats. Add to that another $14,000 in whips, floggers,
sounds, cups, crops and other various clips, clamps, tools and
implements. I do not own any fetish furniture.

I'd say my collection of stuff is fairly modest by comparison to
what my pro friends would call necessities. Add the cost of at
least a massage or GYN table and a St. Andrew's cross to these
expenses, plus the expense of a minimum one year lease on a
space which would then need to be redecorated as a dungeon
space. Then there's the cost of advertising, hospitality and
supplies. You can price these things out by an online window
shopping spree but I don't think it's really necessary for the
purpose of our discussion.

A pro working at $250/hour would need to work 160 hours just to
cover those expenses. It doesn't sound like much until you
realize each of those hours represents one client. That makes
the need for advertising apparent. Do we know how much money
your generous client is willing to put up to establish you?

My guess is that you could consider his support in terms of a
couple of months before he loses interest. As I said earlier,
money changes the relationship entirely. You're likely to
continue to view him as a 'generous friend'. Conversely, he's
likely to view you as paid in full when he wants to experience
another pro. Money allows a man to justify a lack of involvement
on his part and reciprocity on yours.

Since it's your name on the lease, he can walk away and leave
you with that financial obligation. If you can't pay it that
will screw up your credit, not his. If he's married you will
most likely be unable to call him if you need help whether it's
financial or emotional.

He will set the terms as to what he'll make available to you.
Remember, he's weighing what it costs to "help" you against the
cost of simply paying for a pro who is already in business. He
probably only needs you to purchase whatever toys he needs for
his fantasy. If his fantasy only involves foot worship you won't
see a dime for anything other than a pedicure.

Don't be offended. For him it's a matter of getting his needs
met in the cheapest way possible. I know it doesn't make you
feel good to see yourself as the cheaper way to solve his
problem but that's a fair assessment.

Learn to see with your eyes wide open. Contrast this to a real
job. Let's look at nursing, for example, simply because I've
been recently discussing that with a friend.

You could take a student loan and go to nursing school and
become a Licensed Vocational Nurse in one year. A brief internet
search indicates you'll pay about $14,000-16,000 for your
education and in your first year you'll average a salary of
$44,000.

There are hospitals paying signing bonuses for nurses right now.
A friend recently got a $10,000 bonus for signing with a
hospital. That means if she earns the national average, she'll
have paid a net of about $4,000 for an education that earns her
11 times what she paid to attain a certifiable level of
proficiency.

(I think the Small Business Administration would consider a
business to be good if it makes a profit in 5-7 years. I don't
think they've ever done the research on the business of being a
professional dominatrix).

If she works as an LVN for 25 years and never gets a raise
she'll earn over a million dollars. By the way, she also gets a
fabulous health and dental package and a 401K.

Another perk that a dominant can easily see is that you'll learn
how to safely execute a lot of very fun skills you can apply to
some lucky submissive you really want to torture - some that
come to mind are catheterization, sounds, enemas and prostate
massage. This seems like a lot more fun to me.

Additionally, she can use her education as an LVN to get her
Registered Nursing certificate in about two years. Her earning
power will then be $68,000 a year. She's planning on
specializing in gerontology as a Physician's Assistant. It will
require one more year of school but will increase both her
earning power and her job security. I don't see her suffering
for a lack of aging patients any time soon.

A nursing degree puts you in charge of your money and will help
you build towards your retirement. As a pro, you may be forced
to take on clients you wouldn't let shine your shoes if money
were not an issue. There are other inequities, too. As a pro you
may be limited to the clients in your geographic area. As a
nurse, you can decide what area of the country you want to live
in and go get a job there. You won't feel the need to protect
your family by living a double life as a nurse, either.

I've known a few women who've considered putting their fate in
the hands of a man who has his interest at heart, not hers.
While that kind of man may make it seem very easy and even
logical for you to rely on them you do so at your peril. Money
and power are only really yours if you generate it yourself.
Even if you marry these things are subject to the relationship
itself and can be terminated at any time without notice.

It would be nice if you only had to consider the best case
scenario in which you'd become an overnight pro-Domme sensation
with more clients than you can handle. My advice for any woman
considering this is to consider the worst case scenario -
committing yourself to some sort of an arrangement with a man
who appears generous but who may cut you off and leave you in
debt and waiting for a welfare check in between clients you'd
rather not touch.

I hope this is more helpful. Good luck with your decision.

Madam

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Re: C: keeping interest in sex
Date: 14 Jul 2008 09:48:56 -0000
From: appy

Christine wrote:

>May you continue to serve your wife for many more years to
>come.

Ms Christine,

Thank you for your friendly answers to my questions. I am glad
you and David still can fulfil each other's needs and desires.

I certainly hope your good wish will come true.

appy

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Re: P: Whatever Happened to Wanker's Corner?
Date: 14 Jul 2008 13:28:46 -0000
From: Victoria

domonic travers wrote:

>Miss Victoria kindly took pity on me and took me under Her
>wing and controlled me for a time but we lost contact.

In reply to dominic, Yes I did control him for a time. He was
not the best of subjects. He was poor in his time keeping for
replying which soon made me bored with him.

More interesting was luis from Spain who I never met and antony
from Berkshire with whom I spent an interesting afternoon
eventually. I don't think he is likely to forget it!

I may or may not make renewed contact with dominic. It would
depend on whether he thinks he would be better second time
around.

Thank you for your excellent service.

Victoria.

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Re: W: Wanking Stools and Gloves
Date: 13 Jul 2008 16:50:23 -0000
From: subbie

Helen and Sean wrote:

>the stool should be modified with a smooth five inch dildo
>protruding upwards and a spiky flat surface to settle down
>upon.

A piece from a plastic chair mat - like they use to protect
carpets from the wheels of an office chair screwed to the top of
the stool can be most painful, depending on the length of the
spikes and how close they are together.

S

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W: controlling male masturbation with high heels
Date: Fri, 18 Jul 2008 03:03:21 +0100
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Hello,

Bee wrote:

>Years ago, Ms Christine did a wonderful little ritual via
>email for controlling male masturbation.

Thank you Bee, that was ten years ago now. It's good to know
that my effect on you was long lasting and memorable.

>One of the rituals was to kneel and beg for permission to spurt
>while feather light stroking

I wonder if you still follow that feather light stroking ritual?
Did my training have a long lasting impact?

I took some of you a bit further than that initial ritual. Were
you one of my following that got further?

>to a wonderful little picture of black high heels with some
>very unique white stripes.

This, in the URL below, is the high heel shoe you are almost
remembering correctly.

http://www.mschristine.com/DOMestic/submit/heel.jpg

If you have a DOMestic password you can access the picture URL
above, and if you give it some thought, in the corner, you might
be able to work out how to torment yourself by having on screen
a little more than you are permitted to look at. (Remember the
rules?)

To get a picture of a little more than just the heel, change the
name of the .jpg file in the URL above.

Do you remember what the file was called back then? If not, I'm
sure it will come to you if you stand in the corner doing the
fingertip ritual for enough time to truly know what you are.

>I wonder if anyone remembers that picture and could post it?

Naughty Bee! Why did not you ask me directly?

sincerely,
Christine at u4ds.com

Renew or get your DOMestic password at
http://u4ds.com/password

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S: The Doctor Knows Best - Part 3
Date: Tue, 8 Jul 2008 15:12:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: inlimbo

Continued from:-
The Doctor Knows Best
By in limbo

Part 3

When I hesitated to comply with Dr. Greystones demands to tell
her all my deep hidden secret thoughts she flew into a rage and
slapped me repeatedly across the face stating she would not
permit me to waste her time. I was frightened and confused by
her actions as she leaned over me and angrily spat out at me,
"do I make myself clear!"

I nodded and she slowly stood and resumed her seat. My face
stung like hell but I was afraid to even rub it, I was in fact
almost afraid to move. She reached into her desk, took a
cigarette from a box and lit it with a gold lighter.

"I will smoke," she said, "but I will not allow you to do the
same even if you wanted to. Are you ready now to talk about what
I asked?"

I nodded and licked my dry lips. "For whatever reason I am not
one of those submissives or slaves who voluntarily seek to serve
a mistress. I have never been in any type of what I consider a
realistic situation."

"What have you been into."

"Play-acting, either with partners or a few times with a
professional dominatrix. But it never seemed real to me. I
enjoyed the feeling of submission and dressing up but it did not
feel the way I wanted it to."

"What would have made it right for you."

I hesitated, becoming embarrassed but then remembered her slaps,
said, "Reality. I don't even like admitting it to myself, but
being forced into servitude is the only way it makes sense. To
me a man would not just become a slave to a woman without being
forced to. But from what I read it appears that most men ask to
serve women, but even if I want to be a slave, and I do, I don't
feel right asking for it."

"It only makes sense to you if you are compelled to do all those
things that deep down you feel are wrong and dirty and you
should not do. It's very common. Being forced to be a slave
takes the responsibility of being weak out of your hands."

"Well yes, but I don't...." my voice trailed off, unsure.

"You want to be forced to do all those things that you really
want to do voluntarily but can't admit to your macho self that
you really want to be weak. You want to be forced to be weak by
a strong woman."

"It bothers me when you put it that way."

She laughed, "yes, I know, and I like that, because it makes you
face who you really are and you can't stand admitting that you
are weak. You refuse to admit you long to be a sissy. You must
be forced into submission. In your eyes if you are forced into
acting like a pervert then you really are not one."

I gave a nervous laugh, not liking what she was saying but not
sure if what she was saying was true. "I don't think of myself
as weak."

"Do you ever dress as a woman on your own?" she asked. "Do you
have clothes?" Her voice was becoming accusatory, attacking.

I rose and began nervously pacing the room.

"I don't want you moving around. Sit down," she demanded. "Sit
opposite me, me and my pantyhose, or are they stockings and
garters. Are you wondering? Don't you want to know what I have
on?" She was almost laughing and her attitude would change from
demanding to amusement. I returned to the chair without
argument.

"Good," she said. "You liked that, didn't you. You liked me
snapping at you and being demanding." She lit a cigarette. "I
asked if you have a treasure trove of all the sexy frilly
women's lingerie that you slip into."

I did not like the way she was treating me but she frightened me
and she is a doctor. Her attitude confused me and I could tell I
was being bullied and at the same time I was having trouble
resisting her. "Yes, I have some clothes, but I try not to wear
them."

"When do you wear them?"

"Sometimes... only when the I get an almost uncontrollable urge
to have them on."

She said nothing, just stared at me thoughtfully. Taking a last
drag on her dwindling cigarette she shook another from the pack
and chain lit it from the butt. She stubbed out the butt and
exhaling a thick cloud of smoke gave me a look which looked more
like a smirk than a smile. I wasn't smart enough to be
frightened. She leaned back in her chair looking very sure of
herself, relaxed and confident.

She said, "bring your chair close to mine, right opposite me so
that our knees are touching."

I did so, not sure why I was obeying her. I sat back down, my
knees an inch from her legs encased in very sheer pantyhose, her
skirt high up on her thighs. I could not take my eyes off her
legs. I felt I could taste her pantyhose.

"Put your hands on the arms of the chair and do not move them."

I did so and watched as she slowly raised her legs, her skirt
riding up to her waist, her crotch exposed, her thighs in
shimmering nylon wide open. Her pantyhose hugging her crotch
hypnotized me. She was wearing black panties. The soles of her
high heels came down firmly on top of my hands, pressing them
into the arms of the chair. It hurt but I did not want to move.

"Are you excited?" she asked.

"Yes."

"You can't seem to take your eyes off my crotch." She laughed
and I raised my eyes to hers.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's alright, I like you showing your weakness, your excitement
at the glimpse of a crotch is refreshing. Go ahead, keep your
eyes on my crotch. See how tight my pantyhose encase my panties
and my crotch. That excites you doesn't it?"

"Yes."

"What would you like to do?"

"I don't know."

"Of course you don't," she said. "You can't make a decision with
a woman can you. You need a woman to tell you what to do, don't
you."

"I don't know."

"Yes you do, you just don't want to admit it."

"Would you like me to tell you to kiss my crotch?"

"Yes," I said, my eyes still glued to her thighs leading to her
crotch. I felt myself beginning to sweat. I knew I was not
thinking clearly.

"Get on your knees," she said lifting her shoes off my hands.

I slid to floor before the words were out of her mouth.

"Stare at my crotch. Is it beautiful?"

"Yes."

"Would you like me to order you to kiss it, to press your lips
to it?"

"Yes."

"Would you be willing to pay for the privilege?"

"Yes."

"What would you be willing to pay."

"Whatever you ask."

She laughed, "That's what I want to hear. Yes, good, my little
sissy, put your face between my legs about two inches from my
crotch. Do you like the look of my panties and pantyhose tight
around my crotch?"

"Yes."

"Do you like my smell down there."

"It is intoxicating."

"I have decided on your payment for me ordering you to kiss my
crotch. There will be no negotiating. Put your hand up on top of
my desk next to you, press your palm down flat on the desk."

I did as she told me. Her desk was right next to me so I just
raised my hand and placed it on the desk palm down not taking my
eyes off her crotch.

She patted my hand, "perfect," she said. "Now I want you to
place a soft, sensitive, loving kiss on my panty and pantyhose
encased crotch, and for your payment, while you are kissing me
between my legs I am going to put out my cigarette on the back
your hand, using your hand as my ashtray. You will not move your
hand and I will continue to put out my cigarette as long as you
keep your lips pressed to my crotch. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I mumbled, not caring what she did, the thought of
kissing the prize before me totally consumed me. It was so
beautiful down on my knees, totally controlled and dominated,
waiting for a command, my face between her legs, her aroma, the
pantyhose and panties. I was in submissive heaven. I had lost
rational control of myself.

"Very well sissy, go ahead, kiss my crotch while I use your hand
for my ashtray."

I pressed my lips gently to that "Y" that formed between her
stocking covered thighs and softly pressed. It was a glorious
sensation. As I did so I felt a searing pain on my hand as she
slowly and gently twisted the burning cigarette on my flesh,
making sure not to extinguish the glowing ember, thereby
continuing to inflict the burning as long as I kept my lips on
her crotch. I held the kiss until I could no longer take the
burning pain on my hand then drew my head back and as I did so
she crushed the ember out on my hand like a searing knife.

She said nothing. I staggered to my feet, flush with sweat,
excitement, pain, confusion, a million emotions rushing through
me. I looked down at my hand. It looked like Ash Wednesday,
except I knew there was a burn beneath the ash that would turn
to a scar. I fought the urge to touch it, to try and relieve the
pain. I turned and walked slowly to the door. I paused facing
the door and said, not looking at her. "Why?"

"I told you I am unorthodox. I had to find out who you are, what
you are, what forces drive you. Once I gather all the pieces I
can lay them on the table and put the puzzle of you together.
Then I can make you whole and free you. What happened today was
a beginning."

"And did you find some pieces to the puzzle?" I asked.

"Yes."

I turned to face her. "And just how is turning me into something
I hate about myself going to help me." Tears began to well in my
eyes. "I don't understand what you are doing," I said my voice
shaking.

"It's not for you to understand what I am doing. They are my
methods and procedures to give the result you desire."

"You will be able to free me from my compulsion?"

"After our session today I can guarantee I will free you from
your compulsions."

I stood there not speaking, and she sensed my indecision on
returning.

"I know you are thinking of not coming back. But for the next
week consider these alternatives. If you don't come back you
will continue to live in frustration , nothing will change, as
opposed to my guarantee that if you do come back I will free
you. Remember, I am concerned for you and I want you to come
back."

She paused, and slowly that smirk she had worn before came
across her face, "for whatever reason."

* * * end of messages * * *

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