DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

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C: Frustrated and Desperate
From: HTB
Date: Sun, 24 Feb 2008 16:49:44 +0100

I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years. It started out with
him being the Dom and then 16 months later we began to switch
the roles at his request. At the time he organized a couple of
sessions with a Domme for us. Sometimes he would then switch
back to being the Dom midst play. Unfortunately, he didn't
respect my boundaries and the experience was no longer pleasing
for me.

I then said I wanted to stay in the Domme role, however, in all
honesty I must admit that I was not always able to maintain this
role. He's a tough cookie to dominate and I wasn't always
mentally equipped and prepared for what was needed.

The reasons for this are numerous. He was going through a
divorce and messy child custody suit, which impacted his
attitudes. I became too considerate of him and now in hindsight
think that I should have just plowed ahead - literally - with my
Domme activities. As I said, he is quite a difficult character
to work with.

He says that he wants to be dominated, but loves to be sassy and
disobedient. He even threw a professional Domme off once with
his shenanigans and someone else with far more experience than
me who decided to take on the role as Domme as a friendly
gesture once while we separated for a couple of months.

About 2 years ago our relationship started to take a downward
turn. He began treatment for depression and I also found out
that he had posted on ALT dot com and said he was interested in
having some fun in a discrete way outside of our relationship.
It seemed like our sessions got fewer and further between.

Trust went way downhill when I found out last year about his
liaisons with other women - all described as "playing with their
sexual energy." This was really difficult for me - especially
after seeing photos - and I changed the locks and threw him out.
We got back together with the idea that we would try and make
things work again.

However, whenever I mentioned the concept of a BD relationship -
even switching roles on alternative weekends - he said he wasn't
into it at the moment. I think he's just not into it with me!
Although older than him, I still have a very good body and am
attractive.

I'd like to have some advice on what I should do.

The relationship has been very up and down and the sex has been
rare - 9 times since last August! (he hates the fact that I can
keep count) I hate this change, especially knowing that in our
heyday it was twice a day, every day.

He claims that because he's gained weight, he doesn't find
himself attractive and has lost interest in sex. He's also very
stressed due to a lack of regular cash flow and sometimes having
to depend on me financially.

We have gone to a swinger's club recently - just to watch and
have sex with each other after the visual stimulation of
watching others. This prompts me to believe that a desire for BD
is still there. Also, he often hints at being punished. I want
to, and yet I feel that I'd be violating basic ethics because he
said he doesn't have his mind around this at the moment.

I'd love to know how to start things up again and take control.
Our toys are gathering dust in the attic.

We have lost the magic of our earlier relationship and I think a
lot has to do with how our sex lives have developed, or rather
stagnated. I yearn for the days of cock and ball torture, little
assignments with consequences, chastity devices, adulation as a
Goddess, great sex and the power of fucking his ass.

My frustration levels are mounting and I'm desperate for some
good ideas and tips.

Thanks,
HTB

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Re: C: Frustrated and Desperate
Date: 25 Feb 2008 03:32:43 -0000
From: Vincent

I can't offer any advice in this matter, all I can say is that I
hope things work out for you.

I also wish I could find someone like you to serve. But living
on the road (I'm a truck driver) has it's own unique problems
associated with developing and maintaining a relationship of any
kind.

I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out for you.

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Re: C: human dildo advice
Date: 24 Feb 2008 04:07:46 -0000
From: Soumis

Sarah wrote:

>Is this possible and how

You can train him. First, you can order him to tell you when he
gets close to cumming, and make him stop. This, carefully
managed, can be done repeatedly until you've had your fill. My
mistress has done this to me many times.

Should he fail, then you punish him. The obvious solution is to
make him eat up his mess - except of course that some devoted
subs really like this punishment, so you might have to look
elsewhere.

Christine has posted elsewhere about letting the sub cum only
while receiving his mistress's golden nectar orally.

It's really a matter of your taking control, I think. At least
in my somewhat limited experience.

best,
Soumis

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Re: C: human dildo advice
Date: 24 Feb 2008 14:42:15 -0000
From: Balls2full

Sarah wrote:

>I want him to be my human dildo where he fucks me as I need,
>but I don't want him cumming in me

To use your male sub as a human dildo you need to tease his
penis until he is good and hard... then install two thick
condoms on his penis and then let him penetrate you as you
desire... it is very unlikely he will be able to cum for lack of
stimulation.

The only downside I have experienced is after a while the penis
can get soft due to the lack of physical stimulation... to
compensate make sure to talk to your sub to keep him mentally
engaged so he can keep his erection longer. As a male sub I like
to hear what my dom is going to do to me later. Tell me to hold
my erection or she will tie me up and tease me for hours without
release... or whatever is a turn on to your sub.

You may have to experiment a little with condoms to find the
thickest ones.

Also, you may want to experiment with desensitizing creams
applied inside the condom... just be careful to keep it in
inside the condom so it does not come off in you.

Good Luck

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Re: C: human dildo advice
Date: 24 Feb 2008 05:19:52 -0000
From: "O"

In reply to Sarah's desires to use her male slave as a "human
dildo", I have experienced this training as a submissive. I find
it extremely frustrating and submissive,(but that's generally
the intention!) and I offer the following comments:

There are various ways of delaying (or if you prefer,
preventing) your slaves orgasm, and it can be an exciting twist
to place an onus on your slave by commanding him (or reinforcing
the existing command) not to orgasm without your express
permission.

Obviously you will need to follow up any breaking of this rule
with very strict discipline if your slave is to seriously take
more control of himself (and there are sometimes limits to what
can be achieved in orgasm control during coitus).

Wearing a condom reduces some sensation (obviously the thicker
for this purpose the better), and I have heard of using two or
more condoms at one time to further reduce sensation, but have
not tried it.

There is available a hollow "strap-on" that is especially made
for a male to wear. I find mine slightly uncomfortably tight
(and I don't think I am much different from average size), but
that can be part of the frustration for your slave, to be giving
you pleasure while he is tightly constricted and denied. I
recommend you try one of these, being careful in your selection
so that it is wearable.

If you are not using any means of reducing sensation, try to
learn to read when your slave is approaching the point of orgasm
and stop dead any movement (or have him stop).... the feeling of
imminent orgasm will subside for your slave, and after a time
(from a few seconds to about a minute, depending) you can resume
having him pleasure you.

It is perhaps outside the parameters of your question, but
making your slave also serve you orally perhaps goes without
saying, and there are many dildos on the market including chin
dildos (attaches to your slaves chin with straps around the back
of his head), and a thigh dildo that you sit on, and apparently
a gag dildo which sounds awesome... (excuse the pun).

(If anyone knows where to purchase the latter, please advise)

Your slave will soon realise the true meaning of submission when
he has satisfied you while denied and at your mercy for any
further sexual fulfilment.

Good luck.

sub "o"

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Re: C: human dildo advice
From: "James"
Date: Sun, 24 Feb 2008 08:07:57 -0500

Chastity belt with strap on attachment. (His own member would be
locked away whilst still having a dildo to use for yourself)

Then he would truly be your human dildo :)

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Re: C: human dildo advice
Date: 25 Feb 2008 03:24:50 -0000
From: Vincent

The best way to prevent him from orgasming or getting any
pleasure while having sex with you is to use a desensitizing
cream that contains at least 7% Benzocaine. Which is available
at just about any adult toy store.

This will have a two fold effect, it will get and keep him hard,
and he won't feel a thing for a couple of hours.

The only downside is that you will have to use rubber gloves to
apply it to his penis (since it will make your hands numb) and
it has to be applied 10 minutes before you actually want
penetration.

I have had this used on me and it worked extremely well, I
couldn't even feel her heat during intercourse.

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Re: C: human dildo advice
Date: 25 Feb 2008 15:11:33 -0000
From: stevesatinlover

What my TV Mistress has tried on me is to have me cum at least
twice (forcibly in bondage by her or another TV slave), then
take a Viagra to make sure I can get hard even after that
furious activity.

The need to cum is sublimated but the hardness can be achieved
for a long time. The need to cum is thus not an issue and the
Mistress can ride or be ridden without being concerned.

http://www.mrs-silk.com

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Re: C: human dildo advice
From: Elliot
Date: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:58:11 EST

Sarah wrote:

>I want this only for my enjoyment, not his.

Sarah, having him put on two or three inexpensive condoms should
numb him. If not, try four.

Elliot
(A Male Dom who reads this digest.)

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C: golden nectar for sub
Date: 25 Feb 2008 14:07:11 -0000
From: sarah

hi

I saw in one response by Soumis in the forum that Christine had
posted something about letting her sub only cum as he orally
took her golden nectar. I looked as best I could, but couldn't
find that information. Could you direct me to where that is
posted?

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Re: C: golden nectar for sub
Date: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:33:28 +0000
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Hello,

sarah wrote:

>Could you direct me to where that is posted?

I think the last time I mentioned this subject on DOMestic was
in this post of the 5th August 2007...

http://u4ds.com/2007/08/the_coup_de_grace.shtml

where I teased folk by not using the word golden at all. So that
post may not have come up in your initial search. However
"golden" was used in replies in regard to "golden showers" as in
my reply on the 11th August 2007 at...

http://u4ds.com/2007/08/the_coup_de_grace.shtml#c004394

You would have had to search in "both" entries and replies, to
see that message listed. Although the digests concerned would
have come up in the first search.

However "golden" topics have been discussed by me and others on
DOMestic many times over the last twelve years. If you search
for the word golden using the search box on the front page of
the blog, at http://u4ds.com you will find quite a lot of
digests where the subject has been discussed.

It's a fairly safe bet that when folk use the word golden in a
bdsm forum, there's a strong chance they are talking about
toilet issues.

There are even more posts of course in the member's site, if you
have a password. The search engine there is even better.

If you don't have a password, then just click the search button
at http://u4ds.com with a blank search, and you'll get
instructions on searching the public area.

sincerely,
Christine at u4ds.com

Renew or get your DOMestic password

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C: Malta bdsm practitioners
Date: 25 Feb 2008 21:44:50 -0000
From: Gazu

hey, are there any bdsm practitioners in malta? I am a male.

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Re: C: Malta bdsm practitioners
Date: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 23:15:56 +0000
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Hello,

Gazu wrote:

>are there any bdsm practitioners in malta?

Well, I guess there's at least one by the name of Gazu? Although
you didn't actually say where you are, or what you are into. You
didn't say much at all did you?

You'll find my answer to your question in a reply I gave the
last time that question was asked. Scan down to "Meeting Others"
in the right hand menu of the blog, and click on Malta. This
will take you to....

http://u4ds.com/meeting_others/malta/

You'll also find some advice there on contacting others.

sincerely,
Christine at u4ds.com

Renew or get your DOMestic password at
http://u4ds.com/password

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P: Our first meeting
Date: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 10:06:41 -0800 (PST)
From: Docile M

Here are a few thoughts about what our first meeting might be
like. Of course, it really is up to you. I am submissive to you
and will do my best to obey and please you.

You would call me and tell me to come to your hotel after you
had checked in. I arrive at the appointed time and meet you in
the lounge. You are seated in a corner table as planned and we
recognize each other instantly. I sit down and we chat. We
introduce ourselves in person for the first time and talk about
your trip and what is going on with each of us.

Then you announce that we will go up to your room where I will
be examined for the first time.

The elevator door opens, we walk down the hall, you open the
door, and I enter. I stand in the middle of the room as you sit.
You have me turn around slowly. Then you have me undress. Off
comes shirt, shoes, socks, pants, underwear. I am completely
naked before you.

I obey your command to walk to you and stand directly in front
of you. Again, I turn slowly. Then on command, I pull my cock
and lift it away from my balls. I pull my balls down and then
let both cock and balls hang before you. I turn facing away. On
command, I bend at the waist with legs apart, cock and balls
hanging between my legs. I reach back and spread my ass cheeks
so you can see my anus. I try to open it with my fingers as much
as possible.

Then you have me stand again and turn facing you, legs apart,
hands behind my back. You reach out and take my genitals in your
hands for the first time. You lift and examine my cock and
balls. Then you grasp my balls around the base and begin to
stretch them away from my body. Your warm hands firmly around my
balls. Pulling, so secure in your grasp. Your other hand on the
head of my cock, your fingers spreading apart my urethral
opening.

Then you have me position myself across your lap. I feel my cock
between your legs. You alternately spank and rub my bottom, your
fingers trailing lightly along my crack and I try to push back
toward your hand so that my crack opens for you. My bottom
becomes more red and sensitive as you spank me.

Then I hear you snap on an examining glove. You spread my crack
with your hand, and with the other hand I feel you lubing my
anus. Then your finger pushes inside me for the first time. My
hole opens to welcome and accept your finger. Deep up inside. I
feel the pressure on my prostate as you check it for fullness.

I have been saving myself for you and can feel how engorged I
am. My hole is now relaxed and you insert a second finger. Now I
can really feel you deep up in my rectum. I love to be yours in
this intimate way, to feel you taking possession of me, to feel
you inside me, up inside my body.

When you think I am ready, you have me get up and go into the
bathroom. I see the full enema bag and controlling nozzle. I get
into knee chest position and feel additional lube on my anus and
your fingers lubing deep up inside me as well. Then you have me
bear down and I feel the nozzle pushing up into my anus. My hole
dilates and I push and then it is inside me.

I hear and then feel you inflating the inner bulb and it is now
fixed inside me. Then the outer bulb inflates and the nozzle is
firmly in my ass. You begin to run the fluid inside and I feel
the fullness start and then some cramps. You have me roll over
onto my back with knees up. You slow the flow and massage my
abdomen to move the fluid up into my bowel as the water flows.
You continue the flow and massage until the water is completely
inside. The nozzle remains inside and you cover my eyes with a
washcloth.

I hear rustling and then feel your body over mine. You tell me
to open my mouth and then I feel your nipple at my lips. You
allow me to suckle at your breast, your nipple enlarging and
elongating in my mouth. I can taste just a bit of your sweet
milk. You change breasts and I continue nursing for another five
minutes.

Then you pull back, readjust your clothes, remove my eye
covering, and prepare to remove the nozzle. I am to hold the
fluid inside. You deflate both bulbs and remove the nozzle from
my rectum. I must remain on the floor with my anus closed for a
few minutes.

Then you allow me to sit on the toilet and expel.

We repeat this process until my bowel is clean. Then you have me
rinse off in the shower. I come back to the main room of your
suite and you have me get into knee chest position again. I feel
a bit of lube on my anus, then a modest sized butt plug being
inserted.

I stand and you have me dress in thigh high stockings, panties,
bra, and silky chemise. Over that go my regular street clothes.

When I am dressed, we leave your room and descend to the hotel
lobby where we will have a drink in the lounge and continue to
discuss my submissiveness, my submission to you, your plans for
my continued training, your expectations of me, your system of
punishments and rewards for my behavior and progress, and our
mutual pleasure at having made such a wonderful connection
together.

I can feel my affection for you growing. I can feel the
wonderful warm glow of my submission to you. I can feel the
comfort of your protection and warmth and affection for me. It
is wonderful to be able to be myself and to know that you like
me for who I am and appreciate my submissiveness and my
submission to you.

Our first meeting has been a warm and wonderful occasion.

jim at docilem730@yahoo.com

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