DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

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C: human dildo advice
Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2008 12:38:58 -0800 (PST)
From: Sarah

I am seeking training advice for my male slave. I want him to be
my human dildo where he fucks me as I need, but I don't want him
cumming in me, I want this only for my enjoyment, not his.

Is this possible and how can I train a lover to do that without
cumming.

thanks,
Sarah

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Re: C: how to get comfortable in FemDom?
From: ron - slaveboy
Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2008 02:40:01 -0500

LiLlaceLiLleather wrote:

>I'm a total newbie, and also a somewhat quiet personality,
>this is really coloring outside my lines, any suggestions on
>how I should get started and try to get comfortable with all
>this?

Congratulations, seeking reliable info is always a good first
step. As with anything new in a relationship i would suggest you
start with small steps so neither you or he get freaked out or
turned off before you have given it a chance. Follow that with
lots of honest conversation.

Remember that as the Dominant the choice of activities and the
pace of the change is yours, and if he really wants to be
submissive he will accept this, and if you want to be a good
Domme you will listen to his input at your convenience before
YOU make those decisions.

FemDom is seldom a laundry list of sexual fantasies in real
life. It is more a matter of who is in control. You can look at
who controls what in your relationship and you will probably
find some things of which you would rather be in control. Pick a
couple and take control of them. See how you like it and see how
he takes it. Also pick a couple of things of which you don't
enjoy being in control and have him control them.

Good Luck! Don't take it all too seriously, it's supposed to be
fun.

ron

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Re: C: how to get comfortable in FemDom?
Date: 18 Feb 2008 11:24:40 -0000
From: object

i hope that you receive replies from women here, who can
obviously give you their point of view. However, as a male sub,
i hope that you find my comments helpful.

1. If you feel comfortable playing 'dress up' sex games with
your husband, then who is to say you shouldn't? If you do not
feel comfortable (as your posting suggests), then you and your
husband need to talk about satisfying BOTH your needs - and i do
mean TALK, not just 'say words at each other'

2. If your husband wants more than just sex games, then he is
offering you the option of something very special. FemDom is an
activity/lifestyle which can be a real 'win-win' for both
parties.

However, if you are not honest with each other, it can be a
frustrating experience of 2 people trying to out-guess each
other's wishes. If he wants FemDom, then by definition, it has
to be on your terms - at your pace, in your way, wearing what
you like, doing what you enjoy. The point is that he gets
pleasure from you satisfying your needs, and from his part in
that.

May i suggest that you read the material (including 2 books)
from Elise Sutton (link displays here on blog), as a starting
point.

Hope that's helpful.
object (slave to Ms Alecto)

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Re: C: how to get comfortable in FemDom?
From: Madamplz
Date: Tue, 19 Feb 2008 01:01:22 EST

LiLlaceLiLleather wrote:

>"it's becoming more apparent that this is going to turn into a
>fantasy weekend for him and as someone said before there's not
>much motivation here for me. I am however going to try to make
>the best of it and learn what I can in the next week.

>I'm a total newbie, and also a somewhat quiet personality, this
>is really coloring outside my lines, any suggestions on how I
>should get started and try to get comfortable with all this?"

First ask yourself, what's in this for me? Unless you can come
up with some good ideas on how this directly benefits you this
is not likely to work for you.

Already you sound like you're dreading acting out his fantasies,
I would imagine because it sounds more like work to you than
fun. That will be true until you can give yourself a good reason
to participate. It will be difficult for you to dominate him
unless you know what it is that you want and that you're willing
to make him give you that.

Your husband probably has lots of fantasies regarding what
dominant women do, what they want and how they behave toward
their submissives. These things usually revolve around sexual
fantasies and even "lack of sex" fantasies resulting in
prolonged periods of his arousal. A dominant woman understands
this is a jumping off point from which you can demand what you
want from your husband, and get it.

So, that being said, imagine an ideal life. What do you want? Do
want never to do housework again? Do you want your coffee
brought to you in bed? Do you want your dogs walked? Do you want
someone to give you a weekly manicure/pedicure? Do you want to
be read to? Have someone warm up your side of the bed? Do you
want to kick him out of bed when you're done with him? Organize
your closets, iron your clothes, draw you a bath, go grocery
shopping, cook dinner, what's your idea of heaven? Figure that
out first.

Next, have him buy you a full membership to this website so you
can access the archives. In there you can find posts from a lot
of dommes who all have different ideas on what heaven is like.
You'll also find detailed instructions on how to get it for
yourself with the man you've already got.

I believe the archives may be referenced by subject matter or by
the name of the person posting. I've posted a lot of information
on training a submissive which you may find helpful. There are a
lot of other dommes who have posted. Just reading what they have
to say is likely to give you some perspective on what it is to
be a dominant and have a submissive.

Don't worry about being quiet. Don't worry about coloring
outside lines. Make up all the rules yourself. Have a lot of
fun.

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Re: C: how to get comfortable in FemDom?
Date: 19 Feb 2008 20:53:18 -0000
From: LiLlaceLiLleather

Thank you...

Just reading posts from others who have experience at this has
given me a better understanding. And hey I'm thinking I might
enjoy this if I just relax a little..

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Re: C: a sub for my wife?
Date: 19 Feb 2008 02:18:15 -0000
From: Mark

If you truly are interested in being submissive to your wife,
you have to realize a few facts. But first, to answer your
questions:

john wrote:

>"Is a man being a sub for my wife possible in real life?"

Yes it is. My wonderful Wife and I have a 24/7 D/s marriage.

>"Is this kind of life style common nowadays?"

How so? In general as to BDSM, or in some "FemDom fantasy"?

As someone with nearly 30 years experience in real life BDSM,
I've learned to cast all silly fantasies aside. Some people, be
they male or female are naturally dominant. Others, again be
they male or female, are naturally submissive.

There is no "dominant" or "superior" gender, and thus no real
pattern as to marriages being either vanilla or D/s. D/s style
marriages certainly do exist, with either male Doms or female
Dommes being the Head of the Household, but common? I don't
think so.

>"Please advise any one who has experience."

Well, just like in any marriage, communication is the key. Both
partners have to clearly communicate what they expect from the
marriage.

Naturally the dominant person's needs and desires are going to
be the main emphasis in a D/s marriage, but if the submissive
partner's needs aren't met, it's not going to work.

Also you have to keep in mind that while one partner may be
interested in the BDSM lifestyle, the other may not be. That's
not to say that with honest and open communication the vanilla
partner won't come around to the lifestyle, but they can't be
forced or coerced into it.

>"If we start dom/sub life style, will it be a happy life or
>boring?"

That depends on your expectations of the lifestyle. If you're
seeking a "Domme in leather" to wield a whip 24/7, while you
masturbate as she whips you, then you are going to be sorely
disappointed and find it boring.

If however you find simply being obedient, respectful, loving,
attentive and submissive to be highly erotic, very fulfilling,
and completing the missing part of you, making you whole, then
it's not boring.

Too many men fantasize about some impossible to achieve ideal of
"FemDom" based BDSM, many times often involving lots of S&M
play, cuckolding, or being humiliated, all in ways of getting
the man off.

While it can be any or all of those things, that's not what it's
about, nor is it about the man getting off. Some men do get off
in a D/s relationship, others do not. It all depends on what
they and their partners have decided upon.

There are many variations to, and avenues in, the BDSM
lifestyle, and what one couple practices may be "too much" for
another couple, and by the same token, "not enough" for a
different couple, thus it is impossible to say what will or
won't work. You have to communicate, experiment, and adjust as
needed to find the right level and balance, just as in a vanilla
marriage. Believe it or not, even in a 24/7 BDSM relationship,
there are occasional compromises.

If you want a true BDSM based relationship, you must have a
willing partner, open communication, and realistic expectations.

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Re: C: a sub for my wife?
Date: 21 Feb 2008 22:05:16 -0000
From: John

Hi Mark,

Thanks for your reply to my questions. I agree with most of your
answers. I've decided to start my sub life with my wife full of
enthusiasm already, and live as a sub after your advise, i am
going to be deep into this sub/dom life style.

Now i am starting with helping her with our household work. i do
laundering, cleaning house, washing dishes and shopping for
groceries, she is very happy now. Sometimes i cook dinner, lunch
and breakfast. I make coffee for her most of the time.

In the bed, now i please her by licking pussy and nipples
whenever we have sex. Every time when i try to have sex, she
pushes my head to her pussy first. This is the way i started
this life style. i feel happy when i do it this way. i do
massage her body and breasts. She loves breast massage all the
times.

Anyway, thanks for your help to become a good sub husband. I
will do so faithfully to my wife, and want her to be a good dom
for me. i encouraged her to read this site. She is also reading
your post.

My question is, can i take her to another man to have sex when i
watch. i'm always thinking about this idea.

thanks,
John

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S: In The Bank Manager's Cupboard. Part Nine.
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com
Date: Thu, 21 Feb 2008 23:12:12 +0000

Previous issues are at:-
http://u4ds.com/stories/meeting_and_seduction/

In The Bank Manager's Cupboard - by Ms. Christine
Copyright 1986-2008 Christine and David Stevenson
http://www.mschristine.com/bank.shtml

Part Nine.

David stood up and attempted to straighten himself out
beneath the knickers, to make himself more respectable.
He climbed the stairs and entered the bedroom. Karin
was removing her skirt and jacket, dressed now in
leather basque, panties and stockings. The boots, David
could now see, ended some four inches above her knees.

Karin turned to face him. By way of explanation for why
she was undressing she said, "Those clothes are a bit
restricting for what I have in mind for you David. I'm
going to need plenty of room for movement."

David hoped that after all these games, his hour had
finally come. His prospects rose as she lowered her
eyes to his penis, which now pointed at her through the
maid's dress. She seemed to almost lick her lips in
anticipation.

David's spirits soared as she instructed, "Lie on the
bed."

He crawled across the quilt and lay on his back
expectantly, as Karin walked around to the head of the
bed. His dreams crashed as she ordered, "Face down."

He turned over, thinking of her earlier comment. 'Six
strokes', she did mean it after all! But at least then
it would all be over. He would have paid his dues. How
bad could six strokes be? Six strokes with what?

Grabbing his left wrist, she snapped a manacle in place
and quickly walking around the bed, she did the same at
left ankle, right ankle and right wrist.

My god, he thought. She is prepared for this. Cuffs
already in place on the bed! How often does she do this
kind of thing? What kind of woman had got her claws
into him? He began to feel genuine fear and
trepidation.

This was a gigantic mistake, he thought, he had to get
out of this now. "Please Madam," he begged, "can I go
now, I'm sorry Madam. I've learnt my lesson."

"Shut up," she threatened, "or it will be very much
worse for you." She left the room for some moments and
returned with a number of implements that she dumped on
the chair beside the bed.

She pulled the maid's outfit up to his shoulders and
tried to pull the knickers down. She encountered the
resistance of his erection, and tugged harder until the
knickers came down to the tops of his thighs. "Oh yes,"
she said, "it seems you really deserve this my lad.
Even now you're lusting!"

She walked around the bed until she was in his line of
sight. "Look at me David," she commanded. She was
standing with one hand on her hip, the other behind her
back, her legs astride. Blatantly exposed, her black
silky knickers barely concealed her mound. The basque
moulding her figure like a corset gave her a voluptuous
shape. Her breasts pointed at him.

Above, the black choker completed the black ensemble
and seemed to focus his eyes towards her cleavage.

His eyes ran down again to her mound framed by black
suspenders. That black silky triangle between powerful
thighs seemed to embody all his desires and engulfed
him. Despite his situation David wanted her
desperately, his penis twitched and jerked against the
bedcovers beneath him. He had never wanted a woman so
badly in his life. She is a veritable sex goddess, he
thought. It took but moments for him to absorb the
eroticism of the vision before him, but it seemed like
an age.

Karin continued, having only paused briefly to be sure
she had his full attention. "You insulted me and my
home by your filthy behaviour last night, for that I am
going to give you twelve strokes of the tawse."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This story is one of over 400 stories you can read on the
DOMestic web site - http://u4ds.com/password

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X: Re: admin: DOMestic passwords by cheque now
Date: Sun, 24 Feb 2008 01:05:19 +0000
From: "Christine and David" at u4ds.com

Hello,

We don't wish to bore everybody with further posts on his
thread, so if this is a subject which interests you please see
the blog.

http://u4ds.com/2008/02/domestic_passwords_by_cheque_n.shtml

sincerely,
Christine and David at u4ds.com

Your support by cheque would be welcome at:-
http://u4ds.com/password

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The Fem Dom Training Software.
Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

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